IT'S MAGIC

PART II CHAPTER 19

He’s there, standing so tall, arms crossed and looking at me with his sleepy looking eyes. And seeing him speeds up my heartbeat, which never changes whenever I’m with him.

            “Kevin? What are you doing there?” I ask him with a prepared smile.

            “I think I’ll be much of a distraction if I join you and Lawrence, so I just stayed here. I don’t feel like going through and mixing in solemn conversations, anyway.” He says in a sleepy voice which sounds arrogant. But swear; now I do believe that a boy’s sleepy voice is the sexiest shit ever!

            “Oh, you should’ve joined us.” And my conversation with Lawrence resurfaces in my mind that I guess it won’t be a good idea, because Kevin might know “that” right now. Oh, shit… wait! How long has he been there listening, anyway? Maybe he heard all of those already?

            “I wouldn’t.” He stubbornly says, eyes still locked on mine.

            “Well, it’s up to you. How long have you been here anyway? Have you heard those matters that we talked about?” I quickly ask.

            “I… just came here. So I haven’t.” He says in a stubborn and arrogant manner again which makes me feel something different, something… wrong.

            “Kevin, is something… wrong?” I ask, because something seems to be not in place.

            “Nothing.” He plainly answers. And it’s not like him to just plainly answer.

            “Kevin… I know you…” I say. “You can tell me, you know…”

            But he just looks at me and let silence pass.

            Well, I know how to make him talk. So I add, “If you won’t, then it’s okay. But I can’t deny that I will feel bad as long as I don’t know about that.”

            And the stubborn look on his sleepy-looking hazel eyes subside as it changes to the eyes that speak of worry. Well, I didn’t know that I’m that good with words.

            “Well, I’m… I’m sorry, Kate.” He says with his natural /slash/ beautiful voice, but the sleepy tone is still on, which is so sexy to hear, and he looks down. “Something’s not going well with my mind, you know. Something’s not right. I think I’m just back from a dream.”

            “Oh? Why? Are you sick?” I quickly ask because hearing that gives me a weird feeling.

            “I’m not. It’s just… I thought of many, many things. Things that I don’t think I know… Things that hurt not just my head, but also here…” he says as one of his closed fists bumps itself twice on the left side of his chest – his heart. “I just don’t understand myself…”

            “Well, it’s gonna be all right, Kevin, okay? Just take a rest – or much better, sleep. It will just pass.” I say, caressing his trembling arms with my hands.

            “No…” he says, and his eyes close difficultly and the force on the palms of both his fists increases. “It’s been going frequently for the past months. Since… Since…”

            “Since?” I say to calm him down. “Come on, tell me, Kevin.”

            But as his trembling stops, he gasps, “It’s gone…” and I’m relieved.

            “It’s gone.” He repeats then opens his now red eyes and looks at me as streams of tears flow from both of his eyes. And seeing him like that reminds me of that afternoon – the first time I saw Kevin Smith cry. The same cry. Maybe this is somewhat connected to that afternoon? Well, I don’t know.