I tried to avoid my house as much as possible. My dad has gotten worse with the drinking and bringing random girls home. I don't think he even worries about me. When I am home he doesn't say anything to me or ask where I have been like he used to. I've been at Nathan's if you haven't guessed. I usually try to avoid his mum and Jess. Nath says they like me but I don't see it. Right now Nath and I are curled up on his bed watching a scary movie. His mum and Jess aren't home and I plan on leaving before they get back. Nathan and I aren't dating if you were wondering that. Our relationship is weird. He's helping me get over my old life of self harm. I was lost in my thoughts when Nathan jumped. I giggled and he looked down at me laying on his chest.
"Why didn't you jump?" he asked
"I wasn't paying attention. Lost in my mind." I said
He paused the movie and I sat up. He sat up also and leaned back against his bed frame.
"About?" he asked
"Nothing in particular. Just about how I have been happy lately. Well, almost happy. Not quite all the way there yet." I said smiling
"That's good." he said moving a piece of my hair behind my ears.
He smiled at me and I cleared my throat.
"Come on, let's watch the rest of the movie. I want to finish it before your mum gets here." I said
"Why don't you want to be here when my mum is here?" he asked
"I told you Nath. I don't think she likes me. I've seen it. She hasn't invited me to dinner except that one time. I mean your mum is great. She's raised two amazing kids but she just doesn't like me."
"She likes you." he said simply
He laid back down and pulled me with him. He turned the movie back on and we laughed when one of us would jump. When the movie was over Nathan took me home and my dad wasn't there. Thank goodness.
"Night, Nath." I said
"Night, Ker. Sweet dreams." he said as I got out.
I went up to the door and turned around knowing he won't leave until I get in the house. I waved and he waved back. I unlocked the door and closed it. I saw him sit there a few more seconds and then take off. I went to sleep but was woken up by a crash. I jumped up and peeked out of my room. My dad was home and drunk. Again. He slammed his keys down and stumbled to the kitchen. He grabbed another beer and opened it. He chugged it down and then just dropped it on the floor before collapsing on the couch. I snuck in the living room and grabbed the bottle to throw away.
"Did you just get home?" he asked slurring his words
"What? No, I've been home." I said
"Don't lie to me! You've been whoring around! Of course I would have a slag for a daughter. You're worthless." he said laying back down on the couch and started snoring
I threw away the bottle and started crying. He's right. I am worthless. I'm just some worthless person who's just taking up space and oxygen on this earth. I went to the bathroom and grabbed the blade. Nathan threw away my old one but I got a new one. Just in case. And I needed it now. I raised it to my wrists and started crying harder. Nathan draws a new sun and N on my wrists every day. I brought the blade down and slid it across my skin. I cut through the sun and N. I dropped the blade and hiccupped. I shouldn't have done that. Nathan will be so disappointed. But why does he even care? I'm worthless. My own dad even thinks that. I cleaned up the blood and then cried myself to sleep.
**A/N**
Sorry this chapter is pretty depressing and short. But I wanted to update since many of you have asked about it on Twitter. Go follow OkFoundTW on twitter! I run that account with two others! So how do you think Nath will react to this? Tell me in the comments! Vote and become a fan! Love you all
Stormi Lynn xx
