The Music Room - Ereri/Riren (SNK)

-Day 13-

Above is a piano cover of Swing Life Away by Rise Against, the song Eren played and Levi sang in the previous chapter.

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"Why is it that beautiful things are entwined more deeply with death than with life?"  –Tokyo Ghoul, Chapter 138, Kaneki Ken (Ishida Sui)

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Julia shows up to my room the next morning before the sun has even risen to wake me, but I'm already up. A combination of insomnia and the hammering of rain on the roof of the facility has only allowed about an hour's sleep for me.

Though I don't need an explanation for her presence, she gives me one anyway. One that breaches my limits and allows my emotions to flood from behind a dam I'd been unknowingly constructing since day one of laying eyes on green-eyed pianist.

"Eren has requested your presence," she says, her soprano shaky and wavering. Simply her aura radiates distress and melancholy. "You're under no obligation to see him but he...only has minutes left."

I stumble my way out of bed. Normally, I'd slip a sweatshirt on and make sure my appearance isn't a complete mess, but this time I don't even bother putting something on my feet, nor do I spare a moment to take my daily handful of pills. I'm sure my hair is unruly and my clothes are a bit off-center. I likely bear circles beneath my eyes, if not bags, and the flavor of morning breath assaults my tongue. But none of these things matter as I pad along behind the blonde toward Eren's room. My heart is hammering relentlessly in the cage of my ribs; my intestines feel like they've attempted to weave into something but failed miserably and ended up in a huge knot. My knees shake. My teeth grip the inside of my bottom lip. My hands shake. I'm so afraid of what I'm about to see.

Still, this fear doesn't stop me from softly knocking on door 104 and peeking in. Something heavy greets me at the threshold...something I've been around for years and still have no name for. It's suddenly much more potent. Harder to breathe. My teeth break the skin of my lip; the coppery taste of blood greets my taste buds.

Eren's room is the same, of course, aside from such heaviness. Even the smell remains constant. If I didn't know better, I'd expect to find him lounging around watching television or being checked up on, greeting me with that smile I adore so much as soon as his gaze finds me.

The smile does appear, though; he's staring straight at the door as soon as I emerge from behind it like he was waiting for my appearance. And I know he was.

Weak. Everything about him is weak. The way his breathtaking smile affects me, however, is not. Even in death, he is beautiful. I want to throw up.

"You came," he rasps, barely audible.

As I tiptoe soundlessly across the room, I take him in for the last time. I could say he looks like death, but he's still Eren and death does not harbor a face. The only change is the cannula wrapped across his face, tucked neatly behind his ears, and hooked up to metal tank to the right of him.

"This is your dying wish, huh? Just to see me?" I ask.

His smile falters. Only for a second before it's even bigger than before, but it does, and I catch it. How he can still muster the strength to smile like that is beyond me.

The rain continues.

"Of course," he utters, "You're important to me."

Those words, simple as they are, are enough to knock me off my feet and I'm grateful for the chair behind me, right at his bedside. His eyes are practically glued to my face; and mine his. Something in those irises are trying to reassure me, yet apologize for leaving me. I don't want either of those. I just want him to go in peace, to be comfortable. And if my presence here is what it takes, even if it will scar me deeper than anything has before, I will stay.