Painted Sky

10

I spent all my time thinking of what I should do. Buti na lang talaga at first week pa lang ng klase, puro meet the profs at discussion nung grading system tapos alis na.

Pumunta na lang ako sa library since mahaba naman yung break ko and I really need a place where I can have a peace of mind.

Kumuha ako ng libro about history of arts at kunwaring binabasa ko ito kahit na lumilipad naman talaga yung utak ko.

Kahit anong pilit ko na ituon ang pansin sa iba, I'll just end up thinking about him. Maybe I should be honest about what I feel. Wala naman sigurong masamang mangyayare hindi ba?

I won't runaway just because I don't know what to do. I'll try to summon all my courage and do what my heart wants.

Papunta na ako dun ngayon kasi gusto ko siyang kausapin. Gusto ko rin aminin na gusto ko siya, that I liked him from the very first day we met.

The time we spent with each other made me happy. Yung mga panahon na he would tell me na maswerte yung mgaiging boyfriend ko, I always wish it was him. Nothing would change if I won't make a step forward.

I never knew that the ride from Tito William's house to this apartment would be this fast. Naging abala kasi ako sa paghahanda sa sarili ko.

Napahinto ako sa may corner. You can do this Skylee Ysabelle Sy! It's now or never.

I slowly took my turn pero napahinto ulit ako. Not because I want to cheer myself this time but because of what I saw. Nanginginig yung tuhod ko. I don't have the energy to take a step. I was like a statue for a while.

Hindi ko na namalayan na naguunahang tumulo ang mga luha ko. Hindi ko na kayang titigan pero wala na akong lakas para mag-iwas ng tingin.

Please Kai, don't hurt yourself even more by watching the two of them. Umalis ka na bago ka pa nila makitang nasa ganyang state.

Dali dali akong tumakbo papuntang stairs and went down. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta but I need to get out of here. Sumakay ako ng taxi and I'm still wiping my tears.

Nagpahatid na lang ako sa subdivision kung saan nakatira si Tito William. Yung mga katulong lang nila yung andito dahil si Wendy ay nasa school pa samantalang si Tito William ay nasa trabaho pa.

I went to my room and locked the door. Nagsimula naman ulit tumulo ang mga luha ko. Bakit ba hindi na sila naubos? Why do I have to be in this state? I've been hurting for so long, hindi ba pwedeng maging masaya naman ako.

Ang tagal bago ko nabuild up yung courage ko na sabihin yung feelings ko sakanya tapos ganun pa yung aabutan ko. Pinaglalaruan niya lang ba ako?

Ang sakit sakit kasi eh. Kasi umasa akong totoo yung sinabi niya. Umasa ako na baka gusto niya nga talaga ako. I expected too much that's why I'm hurting. Akala ko kasi totoo yung mga pinakita niya, the way he cares for me. Pero siguro hangang magkaibigan na lang talaga kami.

Nakatulog ako dala na rin siguro ng kakaiyak.

"Ate Kai, wake up. Let's eat dinner."

I slowly opened my eyes and it stings. Namamaga na naman siguro yung mata ko.

"Your eyes... It's swollen. Did something happened?"

"It's nothing."

"Are you still having flashbacks about what happened before?"

"Andyan na ba si Tito William?"

"Yes."

"Susunod na ako sa baba, I'll just wash up."