Straighter than Parallel Parking

≈ t w e n t y - e i g h t ≈

{ Chapter Twenty-Eight: You're Most Likely Pronouncing Uno Wrong } 

EVEN THOUGH IT IS A SATURDAY EVENING, the Diablo family find themselves (excluding Maria and her creed as they were out to dinner) playing an intense game of cards, a poker face amid their faces and snack packets in substitute for money (because the twins were terrible gamblers and they inherited from their dad).

"I put down all my +2's!" shouts Alejandro, making his twin groan in anger, the person receiving the burnt of Alejandro's decision. "Boo-yah, suckers! I have pretty much only have... half a deck to go before I can scream Uno!"

"I can't hear you over the sound of your forty cards," Janice sings cheekily, her own deck swindling down as she slams her power cards.

"Okay, smart one, I can't hear you over—wait, do you have only one card? Guys, she has—!"

"Uno!" she yells before anyone can scream "challenge" and the groans around the table make her feel invincible.

"Janice, feel like teaming up with your old pops?" Marcus flashes his winning smile. "I mean, since I was there for you since day one and all. Who needs retirement plans and paying for me in residential homes when you can just, you know, offer me those cookies—"

"Karlo," she cuts him off, smiling deviously. "This is crucial to whether who'll be the winner. Are you prepared to lose?"

"Are you?"

"You were born ready," Janice teases.

"So. Changing the colour, huh?" Karlo asks, his tongue wetting his lips in tension. He only had one card left and if all things went his way, he could take the double fudge brownies Janice made (they were still warm and they hadn't had dinner yet). "You know, if you're smart, you'd change it to green."

"Why not blue?" she questions, "Or red? I always liked the colour of red."

"Is that why you dyed your hair the colour of ketchup?"

"It's the colour of agony and misery!" screeches Janice. "Dad! Tell him!"

"Not unless you tell me why I picked you from the adoption agency," he says teasingly, ducking as she throws one of her biscuits at his head. "I mean, you won't even offer me your cookies!"

"I was going to bake you a batch tomorrow, traitor," Janice mumbles, before scrutinizing her cards. "So..."

"Yes?" Karlo smirks.

"How about... I call green."

"Hah, in your face—"

"After placing the exact same 4+ card I've been holding back so you'd think you would have a chance of beating me."

"Why you litte—Janice! Unhand those, you sly little minx!" Karlo screeches.

After dodging Karlo's attacks and playing a few more board games (that ended up with food fights and/or tackling onto wooden floors), Janice and her family decide to recline in the living room to a good old-fashioned movie night.

"Toy Story?" Alejandro catches a glimpse of the disc in his dad's hand and groans. "Seriously, you've got to be kidding me. At least put Home Alone!"

"I always had the biggest man crush on that blonde dude," Karlo adds unhelpfully, "Man, did he handle home invasion like a pro. He was true inspiration."

Pretending to wipe a tear, he sits back onto the couch, lying his head on Janice's lap.

She flicks his forehead. "Didn't the actor end up becoming a drug addict?"