Pain is Life

Chapter 3

Now that I got suspended, I needed to do something so my parents wouldn't find out. I was gonna make myself sick.
      I woke up super early in the morning and ate to the point that I had to throw up. My mother heard me vomiting and came to the toilet to hold my hair back while I puked.
      She let me stay home the next day. I was sitting in my bed thinking about their divorce. It devastated me. I started to cry again.
My parents wouldn't talk to each other. All they did was give glares. I could see my mother's scar. The butter knife one. I was feeling terrible, but at least I didn't have to deal with Rocky and Dayla. I hate them so much!
      Sitting in the bed was so boring. I got my favorite book, Pride and Prejudice, and read it.
      After a while, I told went down to the pond that's behind my house. Looking at my reflection I thought, "I'm so ugly and worthless." Then I kicked rocks and threw sticks at it. That's what others liked to do to me with food anyway.
I don't know why, but climbing trees has always made me calm down. We have a big oak next to the pond, so I almost climbed to the top. I'd once made it all the way to the top and me and my old friend Bob, who sadly died of leukemia when he was ten, carved a cat face. I looked at it.
I started to miss him. He was my best friend throughout most of my life. We did everything together and he kept me so happy. I don't understand. Why did you have to do that to us God? Again, I was bawling. Looking at that cat face made me miss him so much. I remember his cute pale face, his green shiny eyes, the way his brown hair would always come down in his face and he had to blow it away. He was my everything. But of course, God just had to give him leukemia. Why couldn't he give me it instead? Why Bob?
His gravestone is a few minutes away in the Olsen graveyard. I went to visit him. His grave was just sitting there so peacefully and the birds were chirping around it. I picked up a flower off the ground, gave it a kiss, and set it on his gravestone. "I love you, Robert Gavin Wright, I always will," I whispered.
      I went back to the pond, and skipped rocks. Nature soothes me. I pretended Bob was there skipping them with me because he always did it with me. He trained me to do it. Because of him, I can do like seven skips. He showed the best kind of stones to use, the sharp flat ones. No one could ever beat Bob at rock skipping though, he was the king. He could easily do eleven skips without any struggle.
      I spent the rest of he day at the pond, until I saw my mother's car. She had gotten home from work. I quickly ran up to my bed and acted like I was sick. I needed to until my four days were over. It was Thursday so I needed to keep it up until Wednesday.
On Friday I made myself sick again, and on Saturday, my parents still believed I was sick. But on Sunday, my mother wanted to take me to the doctor. Great, another stress to deal with. Because I wasn't actually sick. But they're not supposed to know I was suspended.
There was no getting out of it. I was going to the doctor. My mother was gonna find out that I wasn't actually sick and then I'll have to tell her that I got suspended. Just great.
      We got to the doctor's office, and he didn't see anything wrong with me. My mother said I had to go to school. I told her that I was still feeling sick but she didn't listen.
      My mother made me go to school on Monday, so now I was gonna get in trouble. Unless, I thought of something quick.
The bus dropped us off at the horrid place, and when no one was looking, I ran into the woods. I decided to spend the rest of my day there. I ran deep in the woods so no one could see me. I climbed trees, threw rocks, and even made a doll out of leaves. It was pretty cool.
      I had to get home on the bus, so when the buses came and no one was looking, I ran out and got on mine. Thankfully, no one noticed I was gone all day, because no one pays attention to me. No one cares about me.
When I got home, I knew something was up by the looks on my parents' faces. They held up some schoolwork. My mother said, "Mrs. Delv called. She said you were suspended and that you needed your work. Why did you not tell us?" I didn't know what to say. They had found out and they were pissed. Very pissed. I had to explain to them about what I did today and everything. They grounded me. Great.
I was grounded for that whole week, but it didn't really matter because no one invites me to anything anyway. No one cares. At least I had my leaf doll. I hated that I couldn't go outside though. My jail sentence, sorry, grounding sentence, finally ended.
I don't understand why God always does that to me. I'm losing faith in Him. Even He thinks I'm worthless.