Pain is Life

Chapter 11

I don't know why, but I randomly got this crazy idea to tryout for the school track team. Tryouts for track were the week right after cheerleading tryouts. It seemed like a good way to take my mind off things.
My mom said it was fine with her. I wasn't surprised. She said I needed to get out more. She had no idea what I was going through.
On Monday, after school was over, tryouts began. I was extremely nervous all of a sudden and felt completely worthless. I was starting to regret my decision.
Coach Travis was the track coach. He made us do sprints a lot, we had to run two miles, and we tried throwing discus.
When Bob was alive, we were always running around outside, so I guess that helped a lot. I was surprisingly way faster than I thought.
We went through the same things all week, and it was pretty tough.
Friday was the last day of tryouts. Coach Travis said we must be able to either throw a discus 68 feet, or run a mile in six minutes and 45 seconds. You had to do at least one of those to at least have a chance to make the team. A lot of people were trying out.
We did the discus challenge first, and I failed by only throwing it 29 feet. It was pathetic. Only eleven people were actually able to do it.
We had to do the running challenge next. A mile is four laps around the track. We had to do it in at least six minutes and 45 seconds which was pretty hard. We lined up at the start, and the coach blew the whistle. We all took off.
I ran the first lap pretty fast, but I was out of breath after it. It took a lot not to vomit. Not even halfway through that second lap, a bunch of people were passing me. Soon I was last. I was about to give up, but something in my mind told me not to. I suddenly got this big jolt of determination, and I took off! I ran like I never ran before. I caught up with the people. I had half a lap left, and 25 seconds to go. I sprinted like my life depended on it, and I finished third. I did it.
Coach Travis was telling us all if we made it. I saw many people walk away close to tears because they didn't make it. Finally, it was my turn.
My heart was beating faster than it did after I finished that mile.
I walked up to him and he said, "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you failed to not make it." I was about to burst to tears, then Travis smiled. I was mad at him, then I remembered what he said. I failed to not make it. I failed to not make it. I then realized that I made it. I felt like such an idiot. He laughed and congratulated me, and I left feeling happier than I have been in a while. Bob would be so proud.
I told my mom the news and she was really happy too. We celebrated with ice cream for dinner.
I got an email saying the girls' coach was Coach Yaul. My science teacher. I'm not even kidding. That made me lose so much excitement because I hated her. I cried tears of anger.
I got a random wave of feeling worthless and I felt like getting a knife, but I stopped myself. Then I cried a lot. I don't know why. Probably my depression acting up.
Why does God ruin everything good that happens to me? I'm losing faith.