The Thing About Nerds

On Thinning Hair

I'm Sam. This is my first chapter, and my hair is thinning. Badly.

It first started thinning a few years back, when I was at that age when one stops thinking about the present and starts thinking about the future. I imagined this idyllic future when I would finally be able to say the right things, wear the right clothes, have enough hair on my head to be comfortable around my friends. It was only when I entered high school and my friendship with the nerds started to blossom that I realized that the sort of people I really strived to be with are the people who don't want me to strive to change.

Not to imply that I returned to my old way of present-thinking. My future-thinking simply matured and became more reasonable. I was finally around future-thinking people who know what they want and know how to get it. The other writers and characters of this piece of writing are far too modest at times, but they are unbelievable people. It is with brutal honesty and unacceptable levels of sappiness that I admit they are the most caring, empathetic, and positive people I know. And they're persistent as all hell. People will compliment us on how determined we are to get what we want - and they're right. When our group of friends formed into its final shape all those years ago, I knew I fell into the right group. The group of weebs who would never leave me even if my own hair did, strand by strand. I felt as though I'd obtained VIP tickets to my favourite band - the members my second family, the stage as wide as the world, the music never ending.

I've even seen them surgically remove someone who wanted in with us but wasn't wanted. As one feels when a grizzly walks up and gently licks one's face, I felt both flattered and petrified. And here I thought my friends would be of the horse family had they been animals.

I would love to say that their entry into my life was the end of my deforested scalp, but with them came the rest of high school. The coursework is fine by itself. It's the extracurriculars, the future-thinking that's the stressful part.

It can be intimidating to see all my friends succeed in more ways than one. Some of my friends run volunteering organizations with major success. Some of my friends tear our school a new one with the frequency with which they bring triple-digit marks. Many of my friends have set their sights on their goals and are barreling towards them, blind to distraction. And then there are those I know and love who are admirable in ways that don't get enough credit. They know who they are, what they're made of, and they don't try to fake it. They live the way they want, spending their days with not a single moment of regret. They've woken up from the masses of those I see around me sleepwalking, not knowing who they're trying to be - future-thinking in the wrongest of ways. And when my many beloveds do start to feel regret, it's because the sleepwalkers have reached them and have tried to convince them to get some shut-eye, but damn it if we won't chug each other with Red Bull until the end of time.

Indeed, it's easy to be intimidated by those around me, but I'll realize that we're all trying our best even if it's in different ways, and I'll return to my future-thinking. With small breaks in between for making horse puns and counting how many hairs I have left. Because even if I have the emptiest scalp of them all, I know that my friends, under their thick heads of hair, can feel my apprehension too.

So if I am the enthusiastic one, it is because this is the first time in my life that I can stand before a large group of people with the sole purpose of ranting about the intricacies of social media etiquette and not be met with blank stares. I can interrupt a conversation about federal politics to make a comment about ponies, and my people will encourage me to finish my thought. I can interrupt a game of Werewolf to have an existential crisis, and my nerds will shower me with meaning. I will one day go bald and will have to wear a ridiculous wig, and when I show my friends, they will make jokes and congratulate me on obtaining hair with no need to be washed or cut, and it will be at that moment that I will realize I am wearing that wig like a badge of honour.

Author's Note: If any of you guys can sympathize with my lack of hair, you'll know I speak some blatant truths. And if any of you guys have friends like these, you'll know going bald is a perfectly acceptable option. Thank you so much for reading my chapter, I hope you liked it. Let us know what you thought by voting or commenting! We'd love to hear from you.

- Sam