Castaways

26::Hannah Empty

November 4 1:13 PM

You might as well have dangled an In-N-Out burger in my face. Letting me call my mom and only talk to her for a minute was too cruel, even for pirates! After my phone call, I took off, running around the boat seeking, needing, a quiet place for me to think. I was still on the deck, but at the back of the boat. There was no land in site anywhere, or a ship for that matter. I could always jump off the ship, but I'd rather not drown in exhaustion.

I should have gone to talk to Andrew the moment I saw him exit the room. He looked angry and broken, and I wanted nothing more than to hug him. But for some odd reason, which I'm not sure I will ever understand, I held back. We were both suffering. Sometimes it's good to be alone, sometimes not. Andrew and I--we needed to be alone. Think this over before we said anything to each other.

I leaned against the side of the ship, shutting my eyes. My mothers voice was filled with so much despair, it broke me. I wasn't sure of anything anymore. Hope is pointless. The sooner I realize that the better I will be. There's no way Andrew and I are getting out of here. We're stuck with pirates; people who have no morals or ethics and values and could care less about us.

I laughed bitterly, whipping my tears off my cheeks furiously. Why is it that when humans are sad we cry? What is the point of it? To show the world that we're weak and we cry when we're sad? As if the feeling of despair and hopelessness wasn't enough of torture, the people around us need to know. Tears signify loss or gain. All a matter of how people perceive them, which has to do with perspective and aspect. I don't have the same perspective that i had weeks ago.

Dad always had a good perspective. He and mom always did, which makes them great at what they do: photography. It's an outlet for them.

I don't have an outlet. Other than my lonesome tears, it's just me, myself, and I.

In the end, it's not enough.

* * *

November 5 9:07 AM

"Where were you?" Andrew asked, barging into my room.

I sighed and wrapped myself tighter in my blankets.

"You and I just discovered a way to get out of here, and you leave me?"

"Not now, Andrew!" I snapped.

"Not now? Okay, how about in three seconds, huh? Hannah, talk to me! What the hell are you doing?"

Angrily, I sat up and faced him. "We're being ransomed, Andrew! Like pieces of meat! I don't...I can't wrap my mind around that."

"What about going home? Don't you understand that? We're going home."

I shook my head. "Back to my family. Back to my whole family. What are we giving them back? Huh? I don't even recognize myself anymore Andrew..."

He snorted. "That's bull. You're going home Hannah. Don't over react. We get to go home. You can hear your parents voice in person! Not through a phone!"

I chocked back a sob and buried my face under the blankets again. "Go away, Andrew."

"No. Not till you explain why your acting like this."

Holding back my storm of tears brewing, I bit my lip. "Go away!"

It grew silent, and I thought he left until I felt the bed dip and arms wrap around my torso. This small act, an act of kindness and stability, broke my wall and I buried my face into his hard chest. Sobbing, I felt him run his hands through my hair and try to soothe me. I had hoped that he would fill the crack in me, but I still felt empty. I was the loneliest person on this planet, yet surrounded by people. I was forever empty, and the thought terrified me.