Broken

3-Kirstin

"Would you stop rolling your eyes?" Avriel sighed.

"Would you stop breathing?" I retorted.

Avi sighed, and ran a hand through his jet black hair. This was one of the few things that actually made me feel somewhat attracted to him. "Kirstin, it's been a week. Can we have an actual conversation?"

"What about?" I feel my eyes widen, my stature shrink.

"Your past, I don't know. You can ask me questions too."

My heart was pounding in both my stomach and my throat.

He took my hand and sat me on the couch before I could protest.

"Have you ever been in love?" Avi's eyes are big and innocent at this moment. I've seen them hard and rigid, like when he talks to his father. He loathes his father, why doesn't he loathe me? Why do his eyes tell a different story looking at a closed off stranger compared to his father?

"Why do you care?"

Those innocent eyes brush over me, huddled on the couch across from him. "When will I ever get to learn about the most beautiful girl I've ever seen? The girl I'm to be married to. Forever."

I feel myself blush, but harden after I realize he made me blush. How dare he. "Once."

"Once?"

"I've been in love," I exhale, "once."

"Your old pair?"

"No."

I see his giant, innocent eyes grow a little, and I exhale through my nose.

"Where is he now?"

I've done so well, trying to push every memory of that night out. Get close to him, change him, I can almost hear Scott in my head. "Gone."

"You're going to have to explain."

"There was a big fire at the mall a few years ago, and he told me he didn't think I should go. I went anyways, and I heard that he was taken by the," it pains me to say the word, "unchosens. He's dead now."

Avriel looked at me suspiciously. "When was this. It would be recorded."

"I don't remember," I lie. It was 12 months exactly from when Scott told me Alex was killed in a Wilds raid. Wilds aren't people like us, they're ravenous, savage. They kill your people and take your supplies.

"Okay," Avriel eyes me once over.

"Avriel! It's-"

"Please don't call me that. Call me Avi."

"Avi, it's true."

"Okay, I believe you," he chuckles lightly.

"His name was Alex Jones."

Avi nods, and pulls me in for a hug.

Okay, add this onto the long list of things that attract me to him.

"Have you," I can feel Avi blush into my hair as he says it "made love?"

"Yes," I answer truthfully, once again.

"Was it with Alex?"

"Yes."

"Did you enjoy it? Was he kind to you about it?"

Looking back I realized it was forced. It was not natural for us, he was not kind about it. "No."

"Then," his lips are next to my ear in a soft murmur, "are you glad you aren't with him anymore?"

"Yes," I say, only because I feel his soft breaths on my neck and that's the only word I would like to say.

"Would you like a do-over?"

I snap myself out of his trance, only to find his gentle kisses down my neck.

"Not now," I say, breathless. I don't want to tonight. Even though Avi has shown himself as someone who I no longer hate, I do not love him. This pairing is for the resistance.

His hands slide down my waist to my hips. He's exploring how far he can go. His kisses continue from my jawline to the center of my collarbone, the little dip.

My breath hitches when he licks further down my chest. I grab the back his neck as he presses kisses into each of my breasts.

He meets my eyes once more, and kisses me, soft and sweet.

With Alex, I could always feel the moment his tongue met mine in an awkward showdown.

With Avi, I don't even remember anything but the pressure of his tongue against mine.

I don't remember when it went to pressure of the lips to pressure from the tongue.

He pulls away, leaving a kiss on my forehead.

He gets up and walks to the doorway of his bedroom. "Goodnight, darling."

"Goodnight."

With Alex, kisses felt needy, relentless, immature.

With Avi, kisses feel mature, perfected, ready.

Damn you, Avi, for breaking down a wall.