The Other Girl

confrontation

After our wild sex and a lengthly discussion in his car on our way home, Pascal and I decided that we'd visit ms Munroe a few minutes before we were due just to explain our situation.

************************************

We're walking to her office and we brace ourselves for the worst. The worst being us not meant for each other, but I mean, what does a counsellor know?

Seriously.

Before we reached her office I heard sobbing, a familiar sob.

It was Cheyenne.

She was exhaling deeply as she whimpered sadness.

"I- I - knowww about Lill-llllly and Pascal aan-d I know tha-tt
"Cheyenne you can't be sure, how do you know?"

"I was there"

"Cheyenne I know this is difficult, but you need to be strong, you need to move on...I know its easier said than done, but when I was your age, I went through the same thing.

Although I never planned my pregnancy or the first time having sex, but I know that it hurts to watch someone you love, love someone else. It could be one of your biggest fears but you have to, have to have to confront it, soooo, when Lilly and Pascal walk through that door in a few minutes, don't be mad, explain your situation and let them know how you feel"

"Bu-t it hurts, so m-uuch, I've never loved someone the way I love Pascal"

"Cheyenne, you are still young, you have a whole life ahead of you, this will be the first of many heart breaks, but I assure you this, you will find someone who breaks your heart a million times over and yet they know how to fix it each time, don't give up on love, this is just the beginning"

That was my que, I knocked on ms Munroe's door and told Pascal to wait.

"Morning ma'am, Cheyenne...
Before you start I have something to say,Cheyenne, I know it's difficult, but you will pull through.
I wanna tell you something I've never told anyone ever-

But first, Pascal, please can you stand outside..."

"Sure"

"I once got too close to someone I wasn't supposed, he was using me for sex and sexual deeds and I would do just about anything to please him, after several months I fell in love with this vicious cycle, I was almost infatuated with the feeling of him wanting me for blowjobs and hand jobs, yet I received nothing in return. I later realized I didn't particularly enjoy him shoving my head on his stiffness or having to give him jobs with dish soap as lubrication. He kept what him and I had  a secret. Telling me it was for fun and no one must know. So when Pascal came to me with that note and his number, I messaged him, but not right away, and when things heated up I did tell him he has you- he had you."

I don't like keeping secrets. They eat at me Cheyenne... And I know what Pascal and I did was wrong, but it was out of lust, horniness and ultimately love"

"When I was with Joe- I mean this guy, I never realized what was happening before it was too late. I was his slave. And I had to do what he wanted, when he wanted. And only when I told my mom what was happening was when she instilled the knowledge in me of what I know today, I know today that I must observe before I sit down and embrace manly curves. Sort of like a poem that I still remember.

"Soooo, what I'm trying to say is, before you settle down and want to marry someone you actually don't know, or continue like this, living in a world of sadness, observe the world around you. Observe the vast number of men and boys that spark your interest and then, maybe explore their curves. Don't plan it so you can get pregnant. " I glared that as I said it to her.

She sort of smiled as I said that.
Its as if buzzers went off in her head and she saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

I think that she realized she had a better piece of Pascal, something that I wont ever love the way a mother does.

She has Ryan. The perfect representation of Pascal, and sure Pascal is a close second, but.
I haven't watched him grow. I haven't taught him right from wrong. He's known love before me, whereas Ryan will know love every time he's in his mothers arms, he will see love in her eyes every waking moment.

What Pascal and I have won't last a life time, like the love of that And a mother, ours will last only a few more months, when my loins become too loose for him, he'll move onto someone tighter, fresher,younger. Someone who is not me.

In that very moment, I confronted another fear. The fear of losing my mother. Although, her and I have been on rough terms, I still love her and she needs to know that.

************************************

Pascal heard the silence and entered thereafter.

He sat on the bean bag in the corner and waited for ms Munroe to start talking again.

"I personally  think, that Lilly and Pascals relationship won't last forever, and Cheyenne nor will your heartache."

Ms Munroe knew exactly what I was thinking.

Pascal and I won't last. The end is insight. It is inevitable.

Pascals expression never changed. He obviasly felt the same.

Maybe our riveting sex was the last spark of our flickering relationship. The flame was no longer there, only some smoke after you've blown out the candle. The sex was good, the emotions may have been there, but...they were only temporary.

Ms Munroe spoke until the lunch bell rang and then dismissed us.

Pascal and I stayed behind and ms Munroe observed.

"Lilly, I'm sure you feel the same. Yesterday I think we were just lucky that we both felt the same, but you have Markus, my child and I have no one. You and Cheyenne seem to be growing closer in heartache and I, I'm drifting away from you and only returning for sex. So Im sorry, but I cannot do this. Please delete my number from your phone and try your best not to talk to me in class. Its harsh, but it will work, I promise you"

I handed him my phone, "do it yourself since its what you want"

He did so and I mumbled a few words; "if you leave me alone, stop staring in such a seductive manner...I'll do the same....."

And that was it.

The end.

************************************

After being in ms Munroe's office for majority of lunch break, I felt hungry and empty at the same time.
Physically due to the want of food and emotionally, because I had no one to catch me from my high, the biggest drop I've ever made.

I needed my mom.

Desperately.