an illegal addiction

please...

"I'm sorry... I can't do this anymore. goodbye xx Blair"

"I just can't do the sneaking around anymore. I'm done."

the words replayed in my head over and over again all day long. I ignored Anthony's calls and texts and im pretty sure he was the one ringing my door bell for 20 minutes.. but I didn't get up to answer it.

"Chuck!" I screamed from my room.

I walked to his room banging on his door.

"what do you want loser" he said swinging his door open.

"weed, pills, vodka, anything to make me feel numb." I cried out.

"woah... what's going on?"

"I don't want to talk about it Chuck.. can you just give me something or do I need to get it from someone else?"

"Blair."

"Chuck."

"fine.. just please be careful, I can't stand you but I don't want to find you dead."

I took the 2 bags from him and went to my room to get higher than a fucking kite. but of course... my parents burst through the door.

I quickly hid the bags and grabbed my keys to leave.

"hi sweetheart! where are you off to?" my all knowing mother asked.

"to Kayla's." I said hoping she couldn't hear the pain in my voice.

she gave me a look... she knew... but she left it alone.

I walked to my car and drive recklessly around town. i stopped at a dunkin donuts that was near that stupid hotel. I didn't realize I had driven so far. I ordered my coffee and as I was walking out I walked into a puffy eyed Anthony. we both looked up from our shoes and stared at each other. he let out a relieved sigh and grabbed me by my waist into his car.

"what did I do wrong ?" he quietly asked.

"nothing." I sighed.

he looked at me questioningly and I began to cry.

"Blair I don't know what's going on right now but you know you can talk to me.. please just tell me what's wrong."

"Chuck saw us, Anthony!"

he looked down at the ground.

"my brother saw us! he saw you kiss me! and he's threatening to blow our secret! I didn't know what to do! I panicked! I figured if we ended it now nothing will happen to you..."

"it's too late for that Blair, we had sex. at this point I really don't care what happens, I love you. okay? nothing is going to make me go away. I'm here for you always no matter what. got it?"

I nodded and wiped my tears away. we hugged for a long time and he kissed my forehead.

"I love you too." I whispered.

he smiled and kissed me.

my phone started ringing and I answered it.

"hello?"

"Blair! are you okay?? you've been gone forever! I'm worried!"

"Chuck calm down, I'm fine."

"did you use anything I have you?"

"no."

"are you going to?"

"no."

"can I have it back?"

"I don't care."

"well where is it?"

"I'll give it to you when I get home."

"I need it now Blair."

"you're going to have to wait, it's with me."

"you're such a loser, when are you going to be home."

"in an hour."

"oh my god."

and he hung up. thank god.

"what was that about?" Anthony asked.

"oh I just borrowed something from him, no big deal. --- but I have to head home, I've been gone a lot longer than I thought."

"okay baby, I'll see you tomorrow." he kissed me goodbye and then he was gone.

and then he was gone. it seemed like the days of me being his everything were over.

wow okay, so it's been like 6 months. I'm so sorry ! I went through and re-read this book today and I was so angry with myself because I was like "what happens next???" then I was like wow I guess that's up to me. so here's a short update for now. I hope I still have at least one reader xx