The Absolute True Healing Powers of Buffet Food

Food and It's Special Powers

I have had these problem for a long time. Stress. Sadness. Depression. Anxiety. Laziness. Life. But, when a cousin of one of my friend's friend mentioned that there was a very good way to deal with it, I had to know more. So, I went to a support group. We all huddled in a sad circle and tossed around the talking stick (it was really a taco bell bean burrito). Each of us shared our stories. Over on my right sat a girl Named Shelly. She was a catastrophe. I'm talking about the overly obsessed ice cream addict who eats, like, a gallon for breakfast and maybe adds in a little scoop of strawberry in there somewhere for some fruity "nutritious" variety... that kind of catastrophe. But, it didn't ever seem to really bother her. And on my left, huddled in a swarm of blankets and cheeto dust, sat a monstrosity who introduced herself as: "Ginaaaa!" *sobbing and stuffing face with more cheetos, an absolute mess*. The emotionally depressed ex girlfriend who decided to rely on food and add on a few more pounds.
I love food. And I will eat my ice cream no matter what the weather says! A man named Tim (who was a big time hippie, and also the leader of our group) helped us out.
"Food is a glorious thing that god gave us. And we shall cherish this treasure. By stuffing our faces with it. And then maybe giving an offering to the toilet gods." The man was in fact, a serious loony. But his words of wisdom never left me.
The absolute true healing powers of buffet food. Trust me, there's some magic that's hidden somewhere in that sentence. We all love stuffing our faces with food, even if it is slimy octopus tentacles. Going to an 'all you can eat buffet' is a sport. In fact, it's even considered an art. It's like you are playing an ineffable game of Tetris, and the only limits are the amount of space on your plate and your good stacking skills. Plus, the variety of options. I mean, when you go to a diner, you have to spend like 10 minutes just trying to decide what what order. And half the time you regret your choice in the end and eye the person's plate who is sitting in front of you. Most Wanted: The Restaurant Disturbance! At a buffet, you can just keep getting seconds after seconds. (Just say you're getting seconds, there is already enough weight going to your thighs anyways, and there's no easy way of stopping that.)
When I go to an 'All You Can Eat Buffet', I eat my my problems away. I don't think there is any problem with that...unless you end up in a food coma or eat too fast to where you choke... I think it's great. Tim the Hippie really showed me something amazing. His wisdom is holy. Like my favourite kind of cheese! Oh, and that stomach bulge I'm developing? Don't even bother. I'm quite happy with it. It was all paid for.