Restart My Heart

Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ Tᴡᴇɴᴛʏ

Harry was the one to pick up.

“Hello?”

“It’s Niall.”

“Dammit, let me go get Lou.”

He had made a run for the nearest restroom stall, falling to the black and white tiles and tearing off his coat, his messenger bag collapsing with it. His fingers busied themselves by reaching for his mobile and dialing his flat’s number. The thoughts and questions were too many and too strong to pick and reason like he’d done before, so he searched for someone to talk them away, someone who offered to listen.

A whooshing sound was heard from the phone, something that bared a calming effect to it, yet Niall was on the verge of tears, coming to realize the shouts in his mind were too harsh to handle and their pierces unable to ward off. They were pulling him down, down, down, much too low, and he couldn’t slip away.

“C’mon Harry, please, please hurry.” Niall uttered, begging because he was drowning.

“Niall? Niall, is there something wrong?” It was Louis’ voice that carried through the phone, knowing that something wasn’t right but wishing otherwise.

“It hurts, Louis.” Niall whispered, partly because he didn’t want another soul to hear, but also because he felt so small, so strengthless and hopeless, “It hurts so bad. Please make them go away.”

“Wait, are you hurt? Talk to me; I can help you.”

“I was swimming, Lou. Everything was just fine, and I was finally fine.”

“Swimming? What are you talking about, Niall?”

“And then they all burst in. More of  them piled onto the ones I swatted to reason out later, and it all just became too much to deal with. I just broke down, all of them able to attack without a fight from me, and it hurts so bad.”

Tears streamed down his face, the start of defeat being so effortless.

A moment passed by as something clicked in Louis.

“Niall, you haven’t left the Coffee Corner yet, have you?”

“No.”

“Where are you there?”

“At the toilets. On the floor.” he choked on his tears, coughing and feeling his lungs shrivel up in the fire of his chest.

“Breathe, Niall. You have to breathe.”

“But I’m drowning.”

“Then tell me what you can’t handle. I’ll help you make them go away, to leave to alone, and you’ll be swimming again.”

Niall began to talk, his voice hoarse.

“I could deal with it. I was so perfectly fine. I thought I could actually have a nice night with a nice someone, but then Joy showed, and- and I...”

“Niall, who’s Joy?”

He hesitated again, knowing there wasn’t a way of avoiding the question, no going back, and he needed to accept that if the night were to go anywhere. He just couldn’t shake off restarting, as if it was the only thing he could do to make Liam come back.

“J was signed in his last message, mixed in all of your letters. His name is Joy, and I remembered all about him; he’s the one who hurt us, who hurt me and Scar, who ruined everything. The accent, the hair- it all matches, Lou.”

“So Joy is him, and you’ve met him in flesh and blood?”

“Yeah.” Niall said with his voice cracking as he tried to build himself back up. He heard Louis mumble a word under his breath, Niall knowing Louis’ hand were roaming his face in an attempt to conceal his agony.