Falling

Chapter 45

-Ryan's POV-

I wake up still feeling the pain in my head.

what happened last night was not supposed to happen.

I know that Alexa said that it was fine but I still felt that it wasn't.

she's my girlfriend. and I kissed Sophie.

I don't know what was going on my mind, but Sophie made me feel safe, she always said that things are gonna be okay and smiled at me.

we had a connection even before I lost my memory.

last night after Alexa came into my room, I felt like shit.

it's not her fault that I forgot everything.

it was mine.

I got myself into that car accident.

but in the same time, she didn't act around me like everyone else did.

everytime she wanted to speak is like the words got stuck in her throat and she decided not to.

I wanna know her.

I wanna know my girlfriend.

what's our favourite movie together? what's our song? what did I get her for her birthday?

did we even do these things?

was I a good boyfriend?

my mind was running wild with questions.

I wanna talk to her, and I don't wanna make her feel bad.

I will apologize for what happened last night and I will tell her that she looked beautiful and her new hair colour is nice. and I will spend the whole day with her as she tells me about us.

I become impatient as I think of the things I wanna do.

I get out of the bed without even wearing a shirt rushing to the guest room where Alexa is staying.

this is our day.

I knock on her door and wait for two minutes.

she doesn't open.

I push the door open. "Alexa?" I whisper.

she's not in her room.

I knock lightly on the bathroom door.

nothing.

I look around me and her room is completely empty.

I feel disappointed.

I walk downstairs and my two little sisters run to me and crush me in a big hug.

"hi" I smile.

"Ryan honey you are awake" my mom's face brightness up.

I smile at her taking a seat in one of the stools.

"hey mom?" I ask her.

"yes?" she looks up to me from the pancakes she's making.

"do you happen to know where is Alexa?"

"she might be sleeping"

"I checked and she's not in her room" I rub the back of my neck. "her room is empty"

"empty?" my mom's brows shoot up.

"yes" I whisper.

she walks over to me. "maybe she just went somewhere? and she'll be back?"

I nod my head and give my mom a weak smile.

~~~~

after breakfast I head to my room fast and try calling Alexa.

concern builds up in me every hour she doesn't show up.

she must have been here if she went to buy something?

her room is empty.

I hold my phone nervously and call her.

she doesn't answer.

I call again.

she doesn't answer.

she never answered.

~~~~

three days, three days and Alexa didn't show up.

I lost hope of her coming back.

I made her leave.

I close my curtains and lay on my bed.

I've been sleepless all these days.

Sophie came by a couple of times, she was sad and she didn't talk to me much.

I regret kissing her, I really do.

but it happened and I can't go back in time and change my mistake.

"Ryan?" my mom knocks on my door.

"come in"

"hey darling, can I have a minute with you?"

I nod my head putting a shirt on.

"so, I don't know how to start" she sighs.

"what is it?" I frown already feeling nervous.

"I'm sorry I hid this from you but I was looking for the right time to tell you, and I think it is now the right time" she sits on the corner of my bed.

"mom what is it?" my heart is beating fast.

"Alexa... she was pregnant with your child"

I didn't hear right. no.

"what?" I whisper facing my mom.

"she was pregnant with your child and now she's gone" she cries.

"mom you should've told me!"

"I couldn't with you condition you were in Ryan" she speaks her voice shaking.

"it's my child! you could never hide something like that away from me" I cover my face with my shaking hands. "she's gone now"

"Ryan-"

"I need time alone" I breathe.

my mom leaves my room, closing the door behind her.

if I knew at least I could've talked to her and we sorted things out.

she leaves like that with my own child.

will she keep the baby?

I slam my hand on the wall, angry.

angry because it's my child as well as it's hers.

did she even think about it?

she didn't even try to talk to me about anything, she never talked about us.

how come will I remember all these things on my own when I forgot her and everything?

"fuck!" I slam my hand on the table and kick my leg on the chair.

I needed her.

I fucking did.

but I needed time to recover, to remember her and my previous life.

but she just left and now my world is falling.