Falling

Chapter 27

-Ryan's POV-

I broke her phone, and I can't find a single way to reach her.

since Evan was too slow, he couldn't find her that day, so she disappeared.

and now here I am without her, holding on the only thing she left for me.

I breathe the scent of her pillow.

it feels like her, but if only it was her.

I cried the whole time, her words kept repeating in my head.

her eyes, her teary eyes became my nightmare for the past couple of days.

is she fine?

I hope she is.

"are you going to stay here forever?" Evan sighs.

I don't say a word.

"can you at least speak to me?" he presses for the one-hundredth time.

"fine" he huffs giving up on me. "I left you pies that Kate made, at least please eat" and with that he leaves the room and later on I hear the apartment's door close.

I leave the room and slowly walk to the kitchen.

where Alexa should have been now, making me her usual breakfast.

I open the fridge and get a box of beer out, setting it on the table.

"fuck you Ryan, you ruin everything you touch" I tell myself sipping from the first can.

~~

my feet takes me to Aaron's apartment.

"I've been walking for a year" I tell Sophie laughing.

"Ryan? are you drunk?" she gets out of the way and I stumble in.

"me? no I'm not" I shake my head fast.

"what's wrong Ryan? what happened to you these past days?"

you don't have any rights to ask me. I wanna say but I push the thought away.

"what happened?" I ask back.

"you haven't been talking, Alexa disappeared and you didn't even tell us why-"

"ask yourself!" I cut her off. "if she didn't know the truth she wouldn't have left" my pulse is raising now.

"what truth?" Sophie frowns.

"the truth that-" I shut myself up. "I, never mind" I wave my hand. "I should get going before your softy boy come" I let out humorless laugh.

"what the hell!" she holds my arm making me stumble back. "what are you even saying?" she glares at me.

"that your boyfriend is a softy? well he really is, he can be a puss-"

"get out of our house" she says in a low and warning tone. "you are drunk, and you absolutely don't know what you are saying"

"I lost Alexa because of you!" I whine before she slams the door shut at my face.

"you only lost Alexa because of yourself!" she yells back from behind the door.

-Alexa's POV-

"I'll probably look for a job in a restaurant or a café" I tell Cath as she braids my hair. "but I'm not working in the club again, never"

"what about the place you will stay in? you won't be able to stay here if you don't work in the club" she says worried.

"I'll probably rent a small place that no one will know of but you" I get up and look at her. "thank you for everything"

"I must be the one thanking you" she hugs me. "I'm glad you are back here, I just wish it was in different conditions"

I sigh as I feel my heart aching.

I miss him.

no you don't, you must not. I keep telling myself.

he made my life shatter after all.

"have you spoken to him after what happened?" she asks slowly.

"please" I fake a laugh. "I don't even want to, he probably has a new toy to play with now"

"give him a chance" Cath whispers her eyes soft. "I've never saw him as that type of a guy, everyone messes up"

"don't even start" I tell her my heart thumping. "he needs to stay away from me, and goodnight"

I rush to the bedroom, sliding under the familiar blankets.

it kind of broke my heart that Cath is standing by his side after what he did to me.

I'm not giving anyone a chance, I've given so many.

I hug the pillow closer to my chest as few tears slipped my eyes.

and this is how I have been sleeping the past few days.

**

where do broken hearts go by one direction is the song of the chapter.