The girl who made my life heaven and hell like

Chapter 8

Anusha and Preethi had already arranged for their accommodation in Anusha's friend's PG (paying guest house) and I took Ashish to stay with me, until he found a place to stay. Pia drove me and Ashish to my home. I asked her to drop us off at the corner of my street, so that I don’t get to answer any uncomfortable questions from my parents. I couldn’t ask Pia anything about her remark at the station, as Ashish was with us. I made a mental note to clear myself, before she arrived at any stupid conclusions.

I shared my room with Ashish, during his stay at my place. He made fun of my sleeping posture, by mentioning the inevitable truth of cuddling someone invisible. He wanted to know if that someone was Pia, for which I did not respond. But, it was then I began to take notice of my posture and lost my sleep that night to web of thoughts - thoughts of why Pia called herself my girfriend, thoughts of Ashish questioning about my posture, thoughts of how I couldn’t deny it was not Pia. It all made me ask myself only one question : what is happening between me and Pia.

I finally got my space to talk to Pia, Monday night, after I returned from work. Pia, once again was carrying me away by being cheery, recounting her weekend fun out with her friends and her day at college. But I had to focus. I chose my words with care.

"Pia, can I ask you something"

"Yup sweetheart, shoot"

"Well, what is it between us? I mean, how do you view our relationship? I am asking this because you told Ashish, at the station that you were my girlfriend. Did you put it that way to shut Ashish's mouth or you meant it seriously?"

I piled her non-stop with questions, when words began to flow.

"Varun, first calm down. Before I answer your question, why don’t you tell me how do you want me to take our relationship."

I did not know she was tuning herself to my likes and dislikes and perceptions then, by asking my opinion.

"Listen sweetie, I want us to be friends. I want nothing to ruin this beautiful relationship we share. More than anything, I am making it so plain - I am not the type of person, who fall in love and fight with his parents to accept his love. You know I am momma's kid, and I will continue to be that way, even in choosing my life partner. I am not giving way to anybody to enter my life, in the name of love, before marriage. Got it?"

"I am listening, go ahead"

"That is all. I have no place for love or girlfriend in my life Pia. I am not ready to break the trust my parents have on me. If you cannot handle it, I don’t think there is any point in us continuing this relationship anymore."

"You are talking like a girl", chuckled Pia.

"Whatever, this is me. And you know it too. I can prove being a man, by being a nice son to my parents too Pia."

Pia assured me that she was just being my friend, and the remark was only for fun. But I did not know that, that was the first night I made the most cheerful girl I ever met and adored every second, to cry.

Pia behaved differently with me, on the days that followed. She refused to pick my calls, made her friends pick my call, and even if she did, she hung up quickly cooking up childish excuses. I sensed something got into her due to my pep talk from that night. I could not take in the sudden hostility she was showing me. I began to miss her every second, but then, if she really was in love with me and was working hard to come out of it, I don’t want to be the person to wreck her efforts. Anusha observed I was behaving weird lately and questioned me. I realized the matter was getting out of my hands that I ended up being an open book, to easy to be read.

Finally, after two weeks of battle with my conscience, I called Pia. Once again, no response. I was frustrated. Few seconds later, I received a message from an unknown number.  

'Hi, this is Tanisha, Pia's friend.' The girl had spoken to me many times, but that was the first time she mentioned her name. 'I want to talk to you something about Pia.'

I replied her back, asking her to go ahead.

'Please don’t mention Pia that I spoke to you. Pia seems to be having a hard time lately. She cries suddenly in the class, and doesn’t look like she gets proper sleep at night. She looks terrible these days. And, she even flunked in all subjects in the last periodical test. She definitely is not being the girl I know for almost three years. The way she directs your call to us, I figured something could have gone wrong between you two. Pia cries whenever we broach the subject of you. Whatever is between you two, I cannot see her like this, not when our semester exam hits us next month. Could you please do something to bring her back?'

I felt guilty. The girl who was all infectiously cheery was crying because of me. My parents had gone out of town for two days, and my brother had accompanied them. I had the whole house to myself. I found it a perfect private place to talk through Pia and help her out. I called her from Ashish's mobile, as she would not attend any call from mine.

"Hello". As expected, she picked the call. It stung to hear her hoarse, lifeless voice.

"Pia, this is Varun. Don’t cut the call. I want to talk to you." She remained silent. I heard tears welling up silently there. I wanted to end this as quick as I could, as I couldn’t stand hearing her cry.

"Come home tomorrow. And don’t cook any excuses. I want you there tomorrow morning at ten. I will be waiting for you."

I took her silence for granted and hung up.