ANA

five

My best friend is a girl named Ana

I want her to always stay

All my other friends have left

But she will never stray

chapter five

I grabbed my notebook from my bag and opened it.

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I picked up my pen and started writing

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I had lost 20 pounds since I had started my diet and I was proud of myself. But I wasn't happy. I was still fat and I wanted to lose even more weight. Ana had told me that I should keep a journal to keep track of the number of calories I had been eating lately. It was easier to control what I was eating and if I needed to eat less or not.

"What's that?" I heard a familiar voice question and I quickly closed my notebook. I didn't need to turn around to know it was Gemma. I hadn't been hanging out with her or Miles for the past two weeks. I had been alone or with Ana. I realized that I didn't need people around me. They would all remind me I had to eat. Except for Ana. Ana was my best friend. Ana understood.

"It's nothing."

"What were those numbers? Have you been tracking down calories?" 

"It's none of your business." I simply answered and put the small notebook inside my bag again. I started playing with the bracelets on my wrist not wanting to actually look at her. 

"You've lost some weight and that worries me." She commented and when she realized I wasn't going to say anything, she continued. "Ana is not your friend. She's making you sick."

"You know nothing about Ana." I stated emotionless.

Who was she to make assumptions about Ana? She had never talked to her so how could she say she was not my friend? Was she saying that because she was jealous? Because Ana had picked me instead of her?

"I know she is not good for you. Look at you, Maya. You barely eat and you're starting to lose too much weight. You look sick."

"Ana is helping me. Why can't you see that?" I yelled and Gemma's eyes widened.

"She's not helping you. She's destroying you." She yelled back.

Gemma was starting to get on my nerves. I would have slapped her in that moment, but I didn't have the courage to do it. She had always been nice to me and I still cared about her. I just couldn't be around her at the moment. She wouldn't understand.

I got up and grabbed my bag. 

"Leave Ana and I alone."

"Maya..."

"Goodbye Gemma."

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dedicated to meliorismm because fast metab is one of the best books I've read about anorexia.