The lonely soul. Ziall fanfic

Chapter 11: Memories

Niall's POV

We were out all day and we have only just got back. Zayn's been acting really distant and I'm getting quite worried. I think it has something to do with Saffa because everytime he looks at her he starts tearing up. I know it's nit just because of his step-dad, no there's more than that and I will find out.

"Saffa, why don't you go and play in the garden while I talk to Zayn ok?"

She nods cutely and skips outside. She is a true angel. I look at Zayn expectidly and he just falls to the floor, breaking down. I run up to him and hold him in my arms. I whisper to him telling him everythings ok. he pulls back and looks at me face stained with his tears.

"no Niall, you don't understand it's not ok. Saffa has to leave ok? because i have school and it's not safe for her to stay here. I have to send her to my aunts in America, and she hates me, so i'll probably never see my lil Saf ever again!" I look at him stunned before i wrap my arms tightly around him.

"I don't want to leave her. she's all I have!" he wails. i hug him tighter and i feel tears prick in my eyes. No Niall you must stay strong! If not for yourself for Zayn. I pull back and look deep into his eyes trying not to get lost because there is something he needs to know.

"Zayn.. sometimes it's best if you let the ones you love go. A very wise friend of mine once gave me some advise, they were his last words so I hold them very dear." i shake my head to stop the tears as I start the story of my old friend Jaylen.

*Flashback*

"shut up Niall!" Jaylen says as he pushes me to the side. I start giggling like mad.  

"No you shut up!" I push im back only a little too hard and he stumbles onto the road. At that moment a car wizzes past and hits him, bang on.

"JAYLEN!" I scream as he is flung to the opposit side of the road. I run accross it until I am standing right infront of him. I collapse in tears as i cling to his body begging and pleading for him to stay.

"Niall, Niall! Listen to me" he whispers barely audible. "This isn't your fault ok? Promise me you won't blame yourself. please? as my last request?" I look at him and nod my head the lump in mmy throat making it impossible to speak. He slowly closes his eyes and i begin to panick.

"Jaylen keep your eyes open!" He opens his eyes one last time as he says these words. 

"If you love something, let it go. 

If it comes back to you, its yours forever.  

If it dosent, then it was never meant to be yours. 

hold this dear, and you will learn the true meaning of love"

*end of flashback*

I snap out of my memory and I give Zayn a teary smile and he looks at me shocked.  

"I'm sorry." he mumbles.

"It's okay it wasn't your fault. He is and was my only friend"

"was." Zayn says certanly. "keep it past tense, I'm here nopw and I'm here to stay."

I smile at him and I show him all my emotions through my eyes. sadness, thanks, apprectiation but most of all love. His small smile disolves and he starts to lean in and he closes his eyes. This is it. This is what I wanted, but do I really want it? what if he kisses me and I'm bad? what if he starts to hate me? I would rather keep him forever as only a friend than to have him as mine for only a few short moments. So I chose both.

I lean in quickly and I give him a peck on the cheek. 

"Thank you Zayn, for everything, now I'm tired and I think we should both go to bed."

He coughs awkwardly and rubs the back of his neck.  

"yeah you maight be right"  

I nod and bid him goodnight as I go up to my room and my sweet dreams consume me. Dreams of me and Zayn, together forever. But thats all they will ever be, Dreams.....