chasing zayn || ziall || discontinued

chasing zayn || six

"I want to disappear."

I mumble to myself, giving myself the once over in the mirror.

"You look nice."

In the mirror over my shoulder I could see Harry, leaning against the doorframe.

"Do I? It wasn't my intention." I huff.

Harry laughs, "Niall everything's gonna be alright."

"How can you say that? Remember when they made you go out with Kendall? Not once, but three times?"

Harry scrunched his nose, "Don't remind me, I'm sure—"

"Barbara" I fill in the blank.

"—Barbara won't be anything like Kendall, no one can top the slag— I use the term lightly— Kendall was."

I couldn't help but laugh, it was rare to hear Harry use derogatory terms.

"Well Harry, it's about time head to date." I emphasise, pursing my lips.

—

I was driving myself to the restaurant where I was to meet Barbara. Honestly on my way there, I contemplated going in a different direction and skipping this date altogether. But the thought made me feel guilty. She didn't do anything wrong, she's just as much of pawn in this facade of a 'relationship' as I am. But that still doesn't mean I want to go on this date. As for being on my best behavior? We'll see. I have no idea who this girl even is, what she does, where's she's come from or what she gets out of this relationship.
I know that this relationship is just busy work from management, just so that I won't have time to screw up or make anymore headlines.

I'd arrived at the restaurant, there was a lot, far me to park in on the side of it, so I did. Carefully taking a moment to myself in my seat. I rested my forehead on the top of my steering wheel.

''Please, let me make it through this.'' I mumble to myself. I was hoping I wouldn't freak out or something, or turn around and leave. Doing something you don't want to do can do that to you.

Doing something you don't want to do, can do that to you.

(an: *cough*)

I pull the keys out of the ignition, grabbing my phone, putting it in the inside pocket of my jacket.

It's a bit windy out today, I notice just before entering the restaurant. It's literally called, the restaurant, if that wasn't clear. It's a bit fancy, not extremely, but nice nonetheless. Before I even get the chance to introduce myself to man at podium next to the entrance, he spots me.

"Mr. Horan I presume." He smiles.

"Yes sir." I nod, a tight-lipped smile on my face. He signals for me to follow him, and I do. He leads me to a table near the centre of the room, the table were sectioned off by low-standing walls. The guy pulled out my seat for me. I mumble a 'thank you' and sit, scooting up until I'm able to hunch over and place my elbows on the table.

Not good manners, but I'm alone at the moment so...

It's a few minutes before there's any change in the population at my table.

"Hello Niall." Someone says, "sorry I'm a little late."

"Hello—" I trail, trying to remember her name, it was literally on my mind a moment ago.

"—Barbara." She finishes for me.

"Barbara! Yeah, just making sure you knew that.

Of course she's does. Idiot.

Like a gentlemen I help seat her and take my seat again. Huffing in the moment of awkward silence.

"So what do you do?" She asks.

On my face is probably the most screwed, scrunched and sarcastic look I could conjure up.

"Stupid question." She laughs nervously.

"What about you though?" I ask her, using her question.

"I act a little."

"Oh really? What movies have you done?"

"Most recently I did Hercules."

"The one with Kellan Lutz?"

"No the other one."

"The Disney movie?"

"The other, other one. You know? The one with the rock. You know? The 'Can you smell, what the rock is cooking'. That one?"

I nearly explode in laughter. "Oh that one." I say finally realising with one she was referring to. "That was a horrible impersonation." I note.

"I'm sorry I must've missed my 'How to be Dwayne Johnson' courses in High School." She laughs.

"Are you ready to order?" A waiter asks, after placing Breadsticks on the table between Barbara and I. We tell him to give us another minute. It's only now that I realise how hungry I am, starved is more like it. I grab one of them biting into it, not even fully finishing the first one. I finally slow down when I think about the room I should save for dinner. Even though I could eat this whole basket and still finish dinner. I laugh silently at that thought, it reminds me of the time Zayn saw me eat. His expression still kills me to this day, we'd finished our first performance and were backstage, we'd intended to go their only to grab waters, but I'd ended up roaming over to these little 'quiche' things and they were amazing. I ate one.. One turned into another and another, I'd almost finished half of the platter when I remembered that I hadn't come to this table alone. I looked up slowly, to see Zayn looking at me, his mouth slightly ajar and his eyes holding, interest, amazement, and I'm pretty sure there was fear in there somewhere. He still teases me about my 'bottomless stomach' , calling it 'cute' I'm still not sure what to make of that.

"Niall?"

"Hnn?" I answer.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just a little tired." The feeling of wanting to be elsewhere was beginning to return, I'd managed to conceal it. It was fallacious of me to think I'd get over this feeling.

Barbara was nice. We could be friends. Maybe.

But I couldn't see a relationship coming from this if that's what management had intended.

My heart wasn't in it.

—and if it wasn't, then where was it?

—

AN: *moment of silence* I updated :)
I had many intended for it to take me nearly three weeks to update. I wanted to update the same day PILLOWTALK came out, but I had some trouble getting this chapter done.

*another moment of silence* Zayn's debut was soy Perfect. Phuck.

When I was unable to update on Debut day, I tried updating on Harry's birthday.

Didn't work out.

But nonetheless I delivered :)