chasing zayn || ziall || discontinued

chasing zayn || nine

AN: Narry.

—

Again I find myself back at square one.

Moping around in my bed, isolating myself. The boys haven't really questioned my silence, it's likely they just assume it's this whole fake-dating thing.

My eyes on the tv m, but my thoughts are rolling on waves and waves of a recurring memory.

Zayn Kissing me. One where I know he's fully aware.

Is it wrong to think about how great it was? Is it wrong to think that way about your best friend?

Doesn't even matter, management would never let it happen just like to they did with Harry and Louis who were once the closest out of us all. That is, up until fans started the 'Larry' suspicion, Louis ended up with Eleanor, and Harry who ended up with Kendall. But all of that's in the past. Louis and Harry's friendship as it used to be at least they don't ignore each other, then kiss the other and not explain what the hell was happening.

I hadn't realised how much I'd zoned out until, I found Harry bent over me snapping his fingers in my face.

I gasped.

"Ni, you alright mate?" He asked me, his eyebrows furrowing, and a frown etching itself into his features.

"What?" I asked, not hearing his question.

"Are you alright?" Harry repeated, slower this time.

"Um— yeah, yeah I am." I say sitting up a little, a pseudo-smile on my face, I tried to fake it but this only made Harry take a seat on the edge of my bed, tucking a foot under one leg.

"Now do you wanna say that again, and believe it this time?" He teased, cocking up an eyebrow.

When I didn't say anything he went to speak again, "Is it something with Zayn?"

"What makes you think that?"

He shrugs, "let's just say you have a recurring pattern."

"And what's that supposed to mean? Just because I'm sad doesn't mean it has something to do with Zayn." I trailed off, getting a little hostile not leaving space for him to answer.

"Every time you and Zayn would have a 'disagreement' you'd mope around in bed, cause you two weren't talking or like when he left."

"No."

"No?"

"That's not true."

"It is."

"It's not."

"It is."

"It's not."

"It's not."

Harry switched up, and I realised it too late.

"It is. Wait—"

Harry giggled childishly, "reverse-psychology, my dear boy." He made a 'boop' sound as he poked my nose. "So go ahead, spill."

If there was anyone else I could trust outside of— Zayn, it'd be Harry. Saying his name or even thinking it, is hard to do without the memory of the kiss, and the texture of his li—

Harry snapped in my face again.

"Huh?" I asked dazedly.

"Spill." He said nodding for emphasis.

I started off by telling him about the New Year's incidence, the silly autocorrect incidence which after everything's that's happened, I'm starting to believe isn't an accident or case of 'the autocorrect'. Harry didn't interrupt me at all as I tell my story and I happy that it was I was telling if it were Liam or Louis, they'd stop me and scold me for every little thing. Plus Liam hasn't really been interacting with anyone apparently he and his girlfriend Sophia are going through a rough patch, and Louis might have a child? I don't know. But it's nice to have someone to vent to.

"— Honestly he kisses me and I'm the one at fault? I don't e—"

"Have you ever thought that maybe he likes you?"

I contemplated this before letting out a loud laugh.

"I don't think so Harry."

"Think about it. He's kissed you twice, and when he was in the band, he opened up to you more than any of us, even when he left he seemed like he was a lot more worried about hurting than hurting any of us. He has some kind of feelings for you."

"He was drunk for the first kiss. He was vulnerable. As for the second one? He seemed distraught so maybe it was a way of lashing out? I don't know but I don't think that means he likes me."

"So you just happen to be the one around when he's lashes out? And the one he kisses when he's drunk?"

I shrug.

"Sounds to me like a primary goal. Who's to even say the alcohol was clouding his mind? Maybe he was using it to help."

I was listening. I wouldn't say I was convinced just yet but what he was saying was kind of getting to me.

Kind of.

"So?" I say to get him to keep talking.

"Alcohol is nicknamed liquid courage for a reason."

"So you're saying, he used alcohol as a way of acting on feelings? Feelings for me?"

Harry nods. I mean now that have this to think about I don't exactly know what to do with this probable information.

"So what do I do?"

"That's all up to you. You can forget about it, or you could take initiative and do something about it."

Take initiative, I pondered upon these words for a moment, before nodding and thanking Harry, He leaned over to give me a hug in which I accepted gratefully, Mumbling another thank you.

After Harry had left my room, I had begun to devise plans and play out scenarios of what would happen if I did confront Zayn. What would happen? I know that he isn't just gonna flat give me an answer, so that means I'll have to be a little— pushy.

Take initiative. I've got this. I've got a friend to pay a visit.

—

AN: I'm sorry I took so long to update and I'm sorry it's kinda short, BUT I'm on spring break so I'll try to update a few more times before it's over and update Just Friends if any of you guys here read that. Also next chapter is ZAYN's PoV so there's that and can we just take a moment to appreciate the bomb assss album that is;

MIND OF MINE.

Zayn just seems so happy, and his happiness is my happiness.