chasing zayn || ziall || discontinued

chasing zayn || prologue

He left.

Zayn left.

He wants to "live a normal life."

Stop me if I'm wrong, but why even go through all of this, if he wasn't in it a hundred percent in the first place?

I literally just watched him walk out of the manor the five of us shared. Even after I sprawled out on the floor and begged for him not to go.

-

"You can't just leave! Not after four years of doing this, not after four years of going through all that we went through."

I stood in front of his closet, he was trying to pack his things. I wouldn't let him.

"Niall move!" Zayn said, not even able to meet my eyes.

I shook my head. "Not until you tell me why."

Zayn shortened the distance between us, looking me dead in my eye, "Don't you get it? This— it isn't what I want anymore. I want to do my own thing, don't get me wrong, I've loved being with you guys, you lot are my brothers."

Something about his words made my heart sink a little, maybe it's the sincerity in all that he's saying. Meaning he actually means all that he is saying.

Which makes me feel ten times worse.

I hadn't even realised I was crying up until I felt the pads of Zayn's thumbs wiping my tears and his palms on my reddening cheeks.

"I'll miss you the most." He smiled sadly, kissing my cheek.

You wouldn't have to miss me, if you stayed.

Pitifully I followed him out his— or what used to be his room, slinging his bags over his shoulder.

"Stay." I said weakly.

"I can't." He replied without even looking at me.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked over to find Liam who held a similar distraught expression to the one my face most likely held.

He pulled me into a hug, my face slightly angled where I could see the door close behind Zayn, and his distorted silhouette through the glass as it shrank farther and farther away.

Tears were leaving my eyes faster than I could blink them away.

I smothered my face into Liam's chest, drenching his shirt in my homemade saltwater. Liam rubbed circles into my back with one hand, while the other played with the hairs on the back of my neck.

Liam knew how close Zayn and I were, him and Zayn were close as well but not how he and I were.

-

I know I should have saw this coming, when were on the tour— the one that is now cancelled I'm guessing— Zayn was unable to perform because he was 'sick' and then he left the tour completely to take a break.

And then he left us.

The four of us— what was left of One Direction sat in our living room area, comforting one another, Louis had made all of us cuppa's.

Scrolling through Twitter, which I know I shouldn't have been, all I could see were tweets about Zayn leaving.

And the tweets telling him to come back— which I had to refrain from retweeting.

Before I could close the app, I got a notification that Liam tweeted, I peeked over the screen of my phone, to see the solemn look on Liam's face.

'Though I feel like we've lost a big part of us, I wish you the best in all of your future endeavours, you'll always have spot here xx @zaynmalik'
—@fakeliampayne

Just when I'd thought I'd spent every tear another made its way out.

I favourited the tweet.

He's only been gone 12 hours.

But every time I think about it, it's like time rewinds and I'm back at the moment he'd closed the door behind him, and my heart makes its way into the pit of my stomach. Without another word, I stand, leaving Harry, who'd been extremely silent in all of this and Liam, who understood that I needed a moment alone.

I make my way up the stairs and down the halls till I get to my room.

I engulf myself in the white duvets.

Closing my eyes, trying to compose myself.

It's all too much.

I was almost at peace with sleep until someone entered my room. There was a clinging of glass on the side table I was facing away from and then a moment of silence until Louis came into view, sliding into my bed.

His face held a tired expression, but a warm smile nonetheless.

He seemed the least phased by all of this.

A feeling I was envious of.

I wish it all didn't hurt so much.

Louis crawled into my bed, snuggling into the duvet and pillows similar to the way I did and am.

"Hi." He said lowly.

"Hey." I said, my voice coming out weak and pathetic, a tone I was getting used to today.

"Hay's for horses, Nialler." Louis giggled.

I stared at him blankly.

'Well then' Louis mouthed.

"I brought you your cuppa." He said changing the subject.

"Yorkshire?"

"Of course."

"Thank god, it's not chamomile, that stuff tastes like dish water." I attempted to make a joke, just to maybe get Louis to believe I was doing okay.

Louis laughed heartily, while rolling out of my bed.

"Drink your tea, and get some rest love." Louis said bending over me and kissing my forehead. "Rest of the tour is cancelled."

As Louis exited my room I turned onto my back staring up at my ceiling as my eyes grew heavy and sleep waved over me.

—Numbing the pain momentarily.

|••••••••••••|

AN: I made a thing! Hehe

That was the prologue, I'm sorry for all the feels, but hoped you liked it :)

I like this story, and have many ideas for it, hoping you'll like them.

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