Star Wars Imagines and Preferences

Han Solo Imagine- Let Her Go

A/N is this my first Han Solo imagine? I think it is. I got this idea while listening to 'Let Her Go' by Passenger. Also, I'm sorry. I forgot when I posted my last imagine that I already had a few in progress. There's this one, I think an Anakin imagine next, a Kylo Ren imagine, and then I'll do Luke maybe. This ones sad btw.

WARNING; mentions of rape and abuse and suicide

  Prompt: You were engaged to Han Solo. You guys started fighting a ton and you couldn't handle it so you left. When you were on your way back to make up with him a large group of drunk men killed you. This is just going over memories.

It was official. You were dead. It was painful and long. You went down fighting. A group of drunk men had ganged up on you, raped you, stabbed you, killed you.

Han Solo blamed himself. He wasn't there to protect you like he promised. All because of a few stupid little fights. He was angry and went after the men the killed you. Now, some of them are dead and some of them are spending a life time in prison.

Han drank for a while. It didn't wash a way his sorrows, it increased them. He's never regretted anything more than letting you walk out that door.

You two were 16 years old and visiting the planet Endor. He was chasing you as you two dodged the towering trees. Your laughter rang through the forest.
"I'm gonna get you!" Han yelled to you. It made you laugh harder.
"You'll never catch me, Solo!" Was your response.

   That was one of his favorite times with you. It was your first kiss, where you two confessed your love for each other.

  You only need the light when it's burning low

     The power was out in your apartment in Coruscant. You had lit a shit ton of candles around the place but it was still dim. Han came into the living room and leaned against the door way. There was a soft song playing and you were slow dancing by yourself and singing along softly.
"Hit me like a ray of sun, burning through my darkest night." You sang softly, spinning around the table. Your eyes caught Han's and you smiled. Holding out your hands to him, you smiled.
"Dance with me, flyboy."

That was your first dance together. It was slow, romantic, the whole time you stared into each others eyes. Your e/c eyes reflected the light of all the candle fire, making them shine brighter than usual.

You only miss the sun when it starts to snow

You and Han had to make an emergency stop at some random planet you hadn't bothered to learn the name of. It was snowing there, nothing like Hoth. It was beautiful, a winter wonderland. You decided to stay for a week. A wonderful week consisting of 3 snowmen, 5 snowball fights, 9 snow angels, and 1 sled ride. At night you two would cozy up next to the fire place. You would bake chocolate chip cookies and make hot cocoa. Things ended up getting really romantic. You wish you'd have learned the name of the planet but you never did figure it out.

That was your first time together. Many more came after that. Then the fighting and screaming started.

  Only know you love her when you let her go

  You two were fighting again. It was your third fight this week and it was only Tuesday.
  "I know how to protect myself Han! I was on my own for quite a while!" You screamed at him. He had gotten too over protective and it almost got you both killed.
  "When I found you 2 years ago you were half dead outside a bar in Tatoonie!" Han yelled back. That was true, but he didn't know what really happened.
  "You don't know what happened! You wouldn't understand!" You cried. He threw his hands up, running them through his hair.
"Then tell me Y/N! Tell me what happened!" Han shouted. Slowly you sat on the arm of the couch, tears streaming down your Y/S/C face.
   "My fiancé had died the month before. Sand people, I guess. They never confirmed who did it, just that he was dead. I was devastated, two months pregnant with no home or money. The night before you found me, a couple drunk guys ambushed me. Beat me up. I lost the baby. I didn't know how to live, how to go on without my fiancé or unborn baby. Didn't have any family or friends. I had jumped off the top of the bar, tried to end the suffering. I overestimated the height, that's why I didn't die on impact. Would've died right in the alley if you hadn't found me." You whispered, it hurt so bad to speak of it. You wanted to forget.
    Han was crying as well.
"What changed your mind?" He murmured softly. You looked him in the eyes.
   "You, you were so hell bent on saving me. You didn't know who I was, why I was hurt. Yet you still saved me. I thought maybe there was some good left in this cursed universe after all. Turns out I was right." Han pulled you to him, squeezing you. He kissed your forehead.
   "You'll never lose me. Partners in crime forever remember?"

   Such a shame it didn't last. It was about a month before you started fighting again.

   Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

   You two were fantastic for another month before the fighting started again. He seemed to be more protective ever since you told him.
  "I just don't get why you can't be more careful Y/N!" He explained loudly. You gripped your hair.
"You were being shot at from 5 different directions and I don't know what I'd do if I lost you!" You screamed at him. He turned around and slammed his fist against the wall, then leaning his head on it. You heard him take deep breaths.
"I just... want..... to protect you......" He breathed softly. You sighed, leaning against the wall next to him.
"I know. I know you think I'm weak. Ever since I told you why you found me half dead all that time ago. But Han it's been 2 years. I'll always have the scars and I can't take back what I did. I'm moving on. I haven't had a nightmare in weeks. I'm okay, Han. I'm okay." You said softly. He turned to you, tears in his eyes.
   "You're not weak Y/N, I know you aren't. I just couldn't live with myself if I let you get hurt." Han's voice was soft, gentle. You stepped to him, wrapping your arms around his torso.
"Hold me, like you did on Coruscant. When there was no fighting or pain. Just love."

Only hate the road when you're missing home

"Han Solo you are a scruffy looking, scoundrel of a man!" You screamed at Han as you stormed to the door.
"Who's scruffy lookin'?" He asked, incredulously. You scowled.
"I can't handle it anymore Han! We fight and fight and fight about the stupidest things! We fought about the coffee this morning! I love you so much it hurts but this isn't working Han! We aren't working! We're too different!" You yelled as you put on your shoes.
"Where are you going?" Han questioned you. You hurriedly put on your coat.
"A walk. Don't wait up." Was the last thing he ever heard you say.

Only know you love her when you let her go

Han sat on the foot of the bed. The police had just informed him of your death. His breath was shaky, tears streamed heavily down his face. In his hands he held a few letters you had wrote.
'When we're fighting'
'When you're lost'
'When I die'

He was scared. Terrified. He didn't know how to live without you. How to breathe. You were his everything, he would've given up the falcon, settled down just to be with you another day. Han slowly opened the letter labeled 'When I die'.

"Dear Han,

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't survive whatever happened. Im sorry I left you. I want you to know how much I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I still love you, even though I'm gone. I don't know what my last words to you were, I don't know if you were there or if I was alone. If our last words to each other were hurtful, please know I didn't mean them. I love you.

I want to thank you. Thank you for staying with me even when you found out why I jumped off that roof that night. Thank you for saving me. I truly wanted to end it that night, the pain was too much. You took away the pain, Han. It didn't hurt so much anymore.

I know we fought a lot. We never really did get along but we loved each other in spite of that. Please don't blame yourself. Don't do anything stupid. It wasn't your fault, you know that right? Whatever happened it wasn't your fault Han. Please don't think it was.

I hope I went down fighting. I hope I fought with everything I had. Did I? Do you even know? I always wondered how my future would turn out. Were we happy despite the fighting? Were we okay?

It's okay to move on Han. It's okay to continue on living, be the best smuggler in the galaxy. Be the Han Solo I fell in love with. Please, I'm begging you, don't let my death hold you back from anything. You have an interesting future ahead of you, I'm sorry I couldn't be a part of it. I love you Han, remember that. Remember me.
Love, Y/N

And you let her go