Masato Hijirikawa X Ren Jinguji

Part 17: Ren's POV

"Starish know."

"That's different. They are our friends. Even so, I'm still not comfortable with them knowing." 
I stay silent for a moment. They are friends. How is it worse for strangers to know? "Surely it's better for strangers to see us? They don't know who we are, their opinions don't matter as much as our friends."

"Because we're Idols!" He says loudly, clenching his fists. "People will recognise us and we won't be stranger to them anymore. They'll be fans. If our fans find out, they may not accept us, which could put the popularity of the whole of Starish at risk." He looks down, pressing his hands to his eyes.

I look down, letting out a defeated breath. "If you really can't be open about it, then how are we supposed to be happy? We can't do anything that couples would do in public, like hold hands, or hug, or kiss... I wouldn't be happy." I slowly trail off, my voice getting quieter and quieter, until it was barely audible. "So, maybe we just shouldn't. Maybe we should end it before... before it really begins." I stand up, walking to the door.

He doesn't speak. Masato remained silent as I turned the door handle.

I took his silence as agreement. "I'll... I'll see if one of the others will swap rooms with me. That way, you won't have to put up with me all day everyday and every night." I inform him, plastering on a smile to hide my sadness once the door was open.

I walk out and towards Ottoya and Tokiya's room. Maybe they would let me swap with one of them. I knock on the door, a false smile on my face as one of them answers. "I was wondering if either of you would mind swapping rooms with me. Not indefinitely. Just for a few weeks until things between Masato and I become less... awkward." I ask, letting my smile falter.

"What happened?" Ottoya asks from his desk, glancing to Tokiya.

I look down. "Masato doesn't want anyone to know that we're together. But I do... I want to be able to hold his hand and be together in public." I scrub at my face. "I know it's a stupid thing to be this dramatic over, but I really love him. How am I supposed to show him that when the only place we can even act like a couple is in our dorm?"

"By being patient with him." Tokiya sighs. "How can you say you love him when you fight over something so petty? Just imagine how he's feeling now. I can't think that he's even remotely happy. Have you even considered that there's probably a reason behind why he wants to keep it private?" Tokiya lectures, Ottoya nodding in agreement.

"You just need to talk to him calmly. Listen to everything he has to say." Ottoya adds, smiling and shrugging lightly.

I inhale a deep breath and nod lightly. "Okay. Thanks." I look down, clenching my fists before walking back to my room, entering quietly.

"Did you find a new roommate?" Masato asks quietly, looking up at me.

 I shake my head and drop onto my bed. "I'm sorry." I murmur, swallowing a lump in my throat. "Is the reputation and popularity of Starish really why you don't want our relationship to become public?" I ask hesitantly.

"Yes and no." He stands up, looking out the window. "I am worried that it will affect Starish in a bad way, but I..." He stops and look at me again. "Please don't think it's stupid..."

I shake my head. "I won't." I say, drawing a cross over my heart.

"I just want our relationship to stay private. I don't want everyone to know about it. It's special to me and I don't want outside things to break it." Masato looks down, hair falling in his face. "I don't want them to ruin it."

I stand up and slowly wrap my arms around Masato's torso, holding him to me. "Nothing will ruin it... Nobody but us can ruin it and I don't want that to happen." I whisper, closing my eyes tightly as Masato's arms snake around my waist.