Panic

Ella

After Alex dropped off Echo and Lewis, we headed off to his house.
"So, really? How was your time in the loony bin?" He asked me.
"Fine." I rolled my eyes.
"I find it funny that you even got yourself in there," he paused to give me a smirk. "Like, I fucking told you not to take those pills. I told you that Echo is a shitty friend, but nope! Your dumbass just continued to do whatever the fuck you wanted, like some sort of child."
That got to me. He was right. He really did try to warn me.
"I'm sorry," I mumble. "It won't happen again, okay? I promise."
"Yeah whatever." He took a sharp turn out of anger. I knew that anger was pointed towards me and that made me feel worse. I had upset him. That's all I really seem to do now.

We walked up his porch steps and entered the living room. The whole house still had the same stench. Cigarette smoke, dust, and the air that surrounded seemed to be thicker than usual. I haven't been here for a while, maybe that's why it seems different.
"Ella? What the fuck is up with you?" He asked harshly.
"What? Sorry, lost in thought, I guess..."
"I asked what's with all the papers?"
I didn't even realize I hadn't given him the things I made for him while I was in the hospital.
"Oh, um, just some things I made while I was there. I, uh, wrote a few letters in this notebook for you." I handed him the book and put the other things I made for him in my bag. Now that I realize, he probably won't like them anyway.
"Cool." He threw it on the table. I'm pretty sure that's his way of saying "this is going to the trash" and I'm fine with that. I didn't think he would want to read what was inside anyway.
I went upstairs and put my bag up in his room by the closet.
After I set my bag down, I notice there's two syringes on his dresser.
"What are you doing!" He yells. I didn't even know he was right behind me.
"I was putting my bag up here. What's going on?" I point to the dresser.
"What, I never told you?"
"Told me what?"
"About my meth addiction." My eyes widen as I hear the words. This isn't good. This could explain why he has been in a bad mood so often. I think.
No. That can't be right. He's kidding. He's just trying to fuck with me.
"Babe, I'm kidding. I'm not addicted, but I do shoot some up every once in a while." He laughed and went down stairs.
I grab my phone out of my pocket. I find Echos contact and send her a message, I have to tell her.
"Echo I have important things to tell you!!!"

Twenty minutes, give or take, Echo and Lewis show up at Alex's house.
"What did you have to tell me?" Echo said as she entered the room.

This event went pretty much how I hoped it wouldn't go. I told her about Alex, she got pissed at me, she yells at Alex, and storms out of the house.

Alex is downstairs, probably doing something that I want no part in. So I  pull out the small piece of paper that held Emma's number on it and text her. 
"Hey! It's me, Ella."
An hour later, Alex came up in the room. He plants a kiss on my lips. The smell on his mouth is a mixture of cigarettes, alcohol, and pot. My eyes travel every inch of him. He seems to be in a good mood. Maybe it's all the shit on his breath. I think but then I see the small piece of cloth that he unwraps from his upper arm and carefully puts it on his dresser.
I guess he sees my saddened expression because he comes over and kisses me again. Stronger, trying to put more love into it, I don't think he realizes that he has failed.
"It's okay baby, I'm still the same guy you fell in love." He whispers in my ear. I know that shouldn't make me feel better about the situation, but it does. So when he kisses me again, I ignore the situation and focus on just him. I know he loves me and he knows I love him.
Things escalate quickly. Shirts are off. Hands in places. The rest of our clothes, scattered.

~•~

I wake up in his bed. He's gone. Of course he is, he always disappears afterward. I think to myself.
I get up and put my clothes back on. My phone screen lights up.
It's a message from Emma.
"Hey man what's up? Are you busy rn? I'm bored as fuck I can pick you up."
I tell her where am and she tells me she will be here soon.
I get all of my shit together and I start straightening up Alex's house while I wait. Where the hell is he this time? I wonder. My thoughts get interrupted by a car honking.