"Amber! Amber!"
I can hear the voice, but it doesn't really register that it's calling me. I keep staring at the grey wall paper. It's covered with tiny little birds, doves, I think. They're all fluttering around or perched on branches. The main spot I'm looking at, though, is three birds. A mummy bird. A daddy bird. And a tiny, perfect baby bird.
The way the world should be.
"Amber?"
I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder.
"Honey, it's time to get up. You'll be late for school."
I feel the pressure of the hand leave, but I can still feel the warmth of it. I roll over and swing my legs out of bed.
I haven't been to school in weeks. True, it's been holidays for weeks, so I haven't actually missed anything. No one knows that I'm up the creek. Except Darren. But he doesn't care.
I get into my school uniform that Mum's altered for me and look in the mirror. Maybe the lump jutting out of my stomach is only obvious because I know it's there. I brush out my long hair. It's almost long enough to cover my stomach. Darren used to say if someone melted rubies and gold and swirled them together, that would be the colour of my hair. I was born with brown hair, so the name 'Amber' has nothing to do with my hair.
Amber is all about my grandmother. My mum always hoped I'd be exactly like her. Gammy had long, dark hair and eyes that were a perfect mix of green and blue. She was really smart and beautiful and sweet. According to dad the only thing I got from her was the eyes. He said I was the complete opposite. Stupid, ugly and a complete slut.
"Amber? Are you ready yet?"
I walk downstairs and nod to mum. She sighs deeply.
"You'll have to talk sometime," she says in her most exaughsted tone. I pick up my bag and walk out to the car. Mum follows, holding out a brown paper bag.
"If you're serious about keeping that baby, you have to eat right," she says. I take the bag and stuff it into my school bag, knowing I probably won't eat it. My stomach is curning with the fear of what will happen when I get to school. I'm still furious that mum's making me go.
"Have a good day!" she says cheerily. I give her a death stare and slam the door.
I walk into the school and immediately hold myself so my stomach isn't poking out so much. My two closest friends, April and Fiona, come trotting up to me.
"So, what happened with Darren?" Fi asks. I shrug and head to my locker.
"Had a fight?" April presses. Shrug. They exchange a glance and I know why. Usually, I'm the most open, chatty person ever, but not this time. This time, I'm closed like a clam. This time, I'm not letting anyone in.
"Are you talking at all?" Fi asks slowly. I shake my head and look at my timetable. English.
I sit at the back of the class, staring blackly at the desk. Someone has written "June luvz Tans" in curly writting. Underneath someone has written in huge, black letter "LOL". I slowly begin scribbling out the "LOL".
"Amber? If you spent as much attention on my lesson as on that desk-"
I stand up and grab my bag.
"Where're you going?" April hisses. I walk straight out, passed the shocked looking teacher. I walk down the hallway and around a corner.
"OUCH! Watch where- Oh, hey Am."
I look up at Darren. He's smiling sheepishly at me.
"You done it yet?" he asks. I stare at him blankly. He glances around and leans closer to me.
"You know, nipped it in the bud," he whispers, "had the abortion?"
I shake my head and he sighs.
"I don't want a kid," he says. I look up into his dark blue eyes framed with outrageously long lashes and say the first words I've said in almost four months.
"I do."
