"How was school?" Mum asks as I walk in the door. I roll my eyes and shake my head. She sighs deeply and lays aside the knife she was using to cut carrot.
"Honey, you can't just stop talking again," she says. I shrug and take a chunk of carrot.
"That boy called for you," she calls as I go to leave, "Damien is it?"
"Darren," I reply shortly.
"Yes, well, he called," she says, "he said-"
The door bell interrupts her. I walk into the hallway and answer it with my best 'go away' face on. It's Darren.
"What do you want?" I ask, looking down at his shoes. White converses. He's drawn little soccer balls all over them.
"I want to talk to you," he says.
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah, can I come in?"
"Nope."
He sighs deeply. Why do people always sigh at me?
"Fine, Amber, look," he tilts my chin up so I can look in his eyes, "I like you. A lot. But I don't want to do this whole teen-dad thing. I want you. I want us. But I don't want this."
I wait, but he seems to have finished. I take the opportunity to stick in a long sigh, mainly for revenge.
"Look, Darren, I don't know what you want me to say," I tell him honestly, "I won't have an abortion. I want this baby!"
"Well, think about what's best for it," he says, lowering his voice as he glances into the kitchen, "no offence, but do you really think you can provide for it? Your mum's job is shaky. You've got another year of school left. I know what you want, but what does it need?"
I run my fingers over the bump in my stomach. Tears are welling up in my eyes, but I know Darren is right. I'll be able to love my baby with all my heart, but love won't fill its stomach or give it a good education.
"I want you do do it with me," I tell Darren quietly, "I can't go through the adoption by myself."
"Can't your mum-"
"No," I shake my head, trying not to let the tears fall, even though I know Darren knows I'm crying, "it has to be you."
I blink and the tears roll down my cheeks. Darren absentmindedly wipes them away.
"Okay," he agrees carefully, "but do we have to tell people I'm the father?"
"That's another condition," I sniff, "I'm not doing any of this alone. Why don't you want people to know, anyway?"
"Uh," he scratches the back of his head awkwardly, "well, the night we had sex I was meant to be at a big game, but-"
"You blew it off to be with me?" I ask, feeling touched. He nods, looking guilty.
"That's really the only reason?" I ask, frowning.
"We sort of lost the championship because of it," he adds, "and I told them my uncle died."
"Ouch," I grimace, "you know they won't be able to pin point the date, right?"
His face brightens up.
"Really? Oh," he grins, "well, yeah. Cool."
"You're an idiot," I roll my eyes. He leans down and kisses me. It's warm and soft and passionate.
"Can we go upstairs?" he breathes in my ear. My heart is thumping, but I shake my head.
"Mum's home," I tell him quietly.
"My place?"
"Mum!" I call over my shoulder, "I'm going for a walk!"
"Okay, be back before dark!"
"Sure."
We hurry to Darren's place. He unlocks the door and calls out, but no one replies.
"My little sister has ballet now," he says, pulling the door closed and leading me upstairs. He opens his bedroom door and I breathe in his smell. I hear the click of his door closing and feel his arms around my waist. He slowly moves his hands up my stomach, pulling my shirt off. I turn around and lock my lips on his. He pushes me gently back onto the bed and takes off his pants.
"Will this hurt the baby?" he asks, fumbling with my belt. I shake my head as I undo it for him.
"Good," he says, softly biting my neck. He runs his hands down my back and unclips my bra.
"I love you Amber," he whispers in my ear.
My heart stops. Suddenly I'm aware of what happened the last time I was in this situation with him.
"Liar," I reply, shoving him off me.
"Amber, what-"
I pull my jeans and shirt back on.
"What's going on?" he asks. I clip my bra up, aware that my eyes are filling with tears and silently cursing hormones. I fling the door open and walk downstairs. As I reach the bottom I freeze. A tall woman with long, blonde hair is standing in the hallway. Her eyes lock on my stomach. I hear Darren following me down the stairs and her eyes slide over my shoulder. She gasps and turns away. Darren is only wearing his underwear.
"Darren!" the woman cries, "what is going on? Is that girl pregnant? Were you having sex with a pregnant girl?"
"Uh, mum, this is Amber," Darren says, hiding behind me, "Am, this is my mum, Rachel."
"Hi," I whisper. She nods at me without looking up.
"Would you kindly get some clothes on, Darren?" she asks. He backs up the stairs.
"I'm just going to go," I say, moving towards the door. She looks up at me.
"Wait!" she hesitates for a second, "is it... Is it his?"
I nod and she shakes her head. Darren comes racing down the stairs, pulling his shirt over his head.
"DARREN!" Rachel yells, "she's pregnant!"
"I know," Darren says, skidding to a halt.
"It's yours."
"I know that too."
"Well then," Rachel says, her voice low and dangerous now, "explain to me why the filthy slut is standing in my hallway carrying your child."
I feel hot tears begin pouring down my cheek. Darren stares at his mother, completely shocked. She glances at me.
"Why are you still here?" she spits. I turn and wrench the door open, but don't leave. I slowly turn around.
"I'm not a slut," I say.
"What?" she snaps. I lift my chin higher.
"I'm not a slut," I repeat, "I was a virgin until I met your son. I would never have slept with him if he hadn't lied to me."
Darren is staring in horror at me, but I don't care. The words 'I love you' are still burning my ears, meaningless, insulting.
"At least I'd never knock someone up and then leave them," I say, more to Darren than Rachel.
And then I leave.
