Nerd Obsession

Chapter Eighteen

"Marcus, I can't have kids." The words left my mouth and as I watched the look of pain cross Marcus' face I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I knew he wanted kids. He'd talk about Mia and Oliver's baby, how they'd started a family so quickly and he couldn't wait to be a father too. 

"I, well. How?" Marcus stuttered and my heart broke more. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Not telling him this now and maybe in a few years after we'd been trying would have been better. I would have at least had him for a few years and not just for a few months.

"Addy, it's going to be okay," Mia said from next to us. She touched my shoulder and it felt as if she burned me. I stood up quickly and ran for the bedroom door. 

"Stop her, Marcus," Mia yelled and his arms wrapped around my waist just as I reached for the door. 

"You're not running away from me, Addison. You can't drop something like on me and expect me not to reach. How was I to know you were going to say that." Marcus was wrapped around the back of me, holding me as I struggled to get out of his hold. 

"Marcus, let me go!" I snapped at him like I'd never done before. I felt him stiffen at my harsh tone but he didn't let me go, so I said it louder. He still didn't let me go. 

"What the hell is going on in here?" Oliver said as he opened the door. It gave me a new sense of strength and I stomped on Marcus' foot and ran from the room. 

"No!" Marcus and Mia said at the same time and ran after me. I could hear their footsteps as I reached the front door. 

"Damn it, woman. If you leave I won't chase you." Marcus' tone was solid and clear. I stopped with my body half out the door. My heart was beating fast and my feet were itching to run. I knew this wasn't how I wanted things to go and I knew I couldn't just run away from my problems whenever something happened that I didn't like. 

"Why? It's not like you won't push me away later anyways. I can't give you what you want." I looked over my shoulder at Marcus. He looked genuinely shocked. 

"Is that what you think? You think that because some doctor who knows nothing about you, told you that you can't have kids would make me not want you anymore?" He took two steps towards me and I turned to face him but stepped back. He stopped walking and put his hands out to show me me he wasn't moving. 

"Addison, do we have kids now?" Marcus' question caught me off guard. Of course we didn't have kids. 

"No, of course not?" I didn't understand. 

"Addy, please just go home with Marcus and talk this out." I looked from Marcus to Mia, honestly forgetting she and Oliver were here watching. 

"Why, so I can prolong the inevitable? You may think you want me now but what about next year or five years from now? Don't pretend that this doesn't change things. I knew I shouldn't have said anything." I backed up from Marcus, seeing the panic fill his eyes. 

"Don't run from me, from us, Addison. We don't have kids now and I still want you. I'm always going to want you. If we never have kids, that's okay. I'm selfish and it means I won't have to share you with anyone." Marcus took a few steps towards me and I allowed him to, unable to stand the distance between us. 

"You can't mean that." I was running out of excuses and I blinked and Marcus was standing in front of me. 

"I mean it and you know I do. I've been talking about kids and a family because I was guaging your reaction to this." Marcus got down on one knee, grabbed my hand and looked up at me. I heard Mia gasp and I looked up at her and Oliver as they watched us.