It was Computer class, we went to the laboratory and the teacher let us choose a computer we wanted to use. I sat at a chair in front of the computer I chose, and turned it on. When the teacher instructed us to click the files and folders, I saw Hikari's folder. Our activity for computer today is to learn how to make an essay about our daily status. The teacher told us to click one of the saved files and look at it as an example. I clicked on Hikari's essay, and read it(I'm not gonna tell him about it. It's not a bad secret anyway, right?). I'm gonna say what's written;
"For whoever is reading this, please understand and do not hold any complaints about it.
I met a girl named Saria. She was the most gentle thing I've ever encountered. I've saw and heard of her many times, most students gossip about her and her depression. And I also noticed that Saria doesn't have any friends at school, and all she gets to do is read psychology books in library often, and just watch the students play, and enjoy together. Me, who doesn't want the same drama to happen in the past, decided to befriend her. But I know she's a person with a kind heart, and I always knew Saria would be happy sooner as long as I manage to help her recover from depression. It's a mental illness, and a mental illness is something you cannot ignore. One day as we talked to each other, Saria seemed to be very comforted and happy. You know, if many students and people here wanted gifts like gadgets, and other stuff they want, Saria wants a simple gift which is, a friend. I was representing myself as the gift she want, representing myself as her angel who's always there for her. I don't wanna lose Saria, people need to understand and care about her more. Because when the time comes, Saria is a person you'll never see again. She'll fade like ash, and I'm doing all my best to save her from the insanity that's taking over her, and the demon that's wounding and filling her heart with black. That's the end of my essay, I hope you got a little concern for Saria. Thank you for reading."
I trembled on my seat. I was shocked of Hikari's words, I never knew he was more concerned of me than what I thought. As exchange, I'm gonna write almost the same content as Hikari's in my essay. Take note that I got cheered up a bit.
Though, before I start, I must check who are the students beside me. On the left side was Rick, and on the right side was Leia. They were really quiet people in my class, and that's good. Atleast nobody's bothering me.. I slowly typed on the keyboard;
"I have read Hikari's essay and was happy to know that he's more concerned about me than what I thought. I've always attempted to kill or cut myself, I've hurted myself, and both the insanity and demon that's taking over me are being controlled by Hikari. I am a weak person, but I will never give up. Hikari is the one that always make me grab his hand whenever I fall down, and even he's not around, I'm always doing my best to stand up. If you hate what I'm writing right now, then buzz off! I don't need any haters, because I don't accept them same judgmental people. I know this essay is not much, but Hikari will understand once he reads this. People may have left me out, but I'm trying to be confident and pulling them back to the entrance of my life and my heart. Strength is all we need, that's just it."
I saved my file somewhere, and walked out of the laboratory. I hope the teacher doesn't secretly read our essays, I'm so dead if it happened. Most especially people always take my issue as a joke, or a small problem. If I respect and try to understand people, why don't they do the same to me? Nevermind, as years pass, generations change. The world will continue to differ, and differ, and differ. I shyly made my path to the hallway straight to our classroom.
It was recess time, I looked at my bag and saw that I don't have any snacks. I don't have any money to buy food in the canteen either, I can't request a classmate to buy something for me. But that's okay, I'll just sacrifice being hungry all the time until lunch comes.
I slowly walked outside and checked the long line in the canteen. What a waste, they have so many delicious food and I can't buy one I want.
"Hey Saria.."
I heard a voice behind me. It was Hikari, he was holding a pack of biscuits. He also gave the exchange from the canteen to me. I took it and thanked him. I'm not gonna say about the essay thing in the laboratory, I'm gonna wait until he finds out.
".... Anyway, I know you and your classmates were taken to the laboratory awhile ago. I hope you used the computer where I put an important file there, which is for you." Wait, Hikari knows..? Should I tell..? Whatever.. "Yeah, I saw it. Thanks for writing that down, you're so caring." I complimented Hikari, because..why not? We had a pretty good conversation, until it was class time again.
It was GMRC(Good manners and right conduct)time. The teacher was discussing about friendship and stuff, I was listening closely 'cause this subject means a lot to me. Until..
"I choose.. Rick, Bea, and Saria! Write the name of the person closest to you. Go!" The teacher chose me. Wait, should I do it or fakely write someone else's name? It's either I'll tell the teacher to choose someone else, besides, I won't write anything down there. I sighed, and didn't get out from my chair. And my plan worked, my teacher hesitated to make me go in front and chose another student which is Leia. I'm chilled, that was good.
It was HR time, and I was being approached by a group of my class. "Hey Saria, we know the main reason why you didn't wanna stand up. It's because, you don't have ANY FRIENDS!!" Then they all started laughing. I rolled my eyes and ignored them, it was the same thing people would always tell me. "You mad? Don't worry, we can calm you down. Look, just move on from your depression! You'll continue to suffer if you always do the same thing!"
"It's not that easy! You know that people always treat me like a piece of trash, like what you're doing right now! I'm trying to escape from this jail where everyone uses to trap me, but a lot of emotions and people keep on dragging me inside! I was obviously unstable of myself and everyone! That's why you can't say things that easily, because you've never been depressed. If you became like this, I know you cannot move on easily either!" I shouted at them. "At first, you were being slowly faded away like ash.. But now it's worse because, you are now just a virus from something technological or electrical, and as soon as we get to make you stable, you'll vanish! It's your last goodbye!" They told me back. "So can you shut up? Because whatever you do, you'll never win!" They added, and then walked away, leaving me in my chair. Atleast they left me, they're just a bunch of stupid bullies! Even my parents already left me, they still look like a reflection of them! Until this day, I kept mumbling; Life is nothing but a nightmare.
In dismissal, I was looking for Hikari everywhere. He was supposed to be in t first floor waiting for me to get downstairs, but he's not there. I walked outside the school and saw Hikari sitting in the same bench where I first met him. He was just sitting there, all alone, not even looking for me.. I slowly approached and sat beside him. Hikari was quiet, he barely said a word.
"Whatever happened, remember that I am always here to talk to you." I said, Hikari looked at me and started to speak. "Won't you complain?" That's a negative one, but I'm answering it with all my knowledge. I don't wanna lose Hikari, same as he don't wanna lose me. "You never complained about me getting too much depressed, and so I'll do the same to you." I smiled.
"I just wanna tell you that...same things that happened to you, also happened to me." Hikari continued.
"Ever since when my parents noticed that we are friends, they started judging and yelling complaints at me. They said that I don't fit to be your friend because, you are a depressed one. As long as we become closer to each other, they thought that I might be the same like you. I told them that I love you as a friend, and I also love how you're slowly becoming happy. Making someone's day, is also the thing that puts a smile on my face. I accept if they don't understand that, they don't have to anyways. Time will come everything will be fair." He told me. I can't believe, someone so friendly and kind like Hikari, can also be depressed..? Poor little him, that seems awful. I felt pity, and hugged Hikari to show my sympathy. "That's okay, I'm here. We can do this, alright?" I asked Hikari, making him feel confident and be the same smiling Hikari I always know. A dramatic pause occured, and when I took my pocket, I saw that it has two handkerchiefs. The first one was mine, and the other was Hikari's. I remember back that time when Hikari gave me his handkerchief, and now I'm giving mine. "Vice versa, you gave me your handkerchief and I give you mine!" I said in an energetic voice, and I had a wide smile. Hikari took it, and smiled at me back. "Thanks, you're a great help, Saria!" Hikari thanked me. "Oh, I need to go home now. Bye!" He added. Sigh, that was close. I don't want Hikari to feel like he's a glitch that is slowly fading away..
You don't want to be a glitch forgotten too, right?
YOU ARE READING
A Story Of Depression: Life Is Nothing But A NIGHTMARE || Completed ✔️
Non-Fiction(#450 IN NONFICTION) A story about a depressed girl named Saria. She started to have family problems, and communicating with people. About her condition, she is always the target of bullying. Saria always felt hopeless, sad, and alone until a boy n...
