A Story Of Depression: Life Is Nothing But A NIGHTMARE || Completed ✔️

Part 6: Ash and dust- Don't let me fade like that..

I got back home, and put my bag in my room. I also changed my clothes. Just then, my parents slammed the door open. They are holding my testpapers, oh, my testpapers.. Those have low grades.. I guess they're here to scold me..
"I have no idea what's going on with you, why are your grades getting low? Your humanity is being destroyed and possessed by a demon!" My father shouted angrily, he was breathing fastly, wow, he's such a madman.
"If one more time I see you getting grades like this, I won't let you go to school anymore! And we won't talk to you anymore cuz you kept acting like a piece of sh-" My mother got cut.
"FINE! THEN CALL ME A PIECE OF SH**! BY THE WAY, THAT'S HOW YOU ALWAYS TREAT ME, RIGHT? YOU HAVE NO HEART ANYMORE! I JUST WISHED TWO OF YOU WOULD'VE NEVER CHOSE TO LIVE IN THIS PLACE! BECAUSE LOOK, DIDN'T YOU SEE THE CHANGES? OUR HAPPINESS GOT RUINED, AND I WAS INVOLVED INTO YOUR DUMB SITUATION! AND LISTEN, THE WAY YOU TREAT ME, IS ALSO THE REASON WHY I AM CHANGING!" I was shouting loudly, and my tears are bursting as I cry. "AND NOW YOU'RE ANSWERING US BACK? OKAY THEN, GO ON! CONTINUE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY!" My mother said. "FINE, THEN DON'T LISTEN TO OUR WORDS ANYMORE AND WE WON'T DISTURB YOU ANYMORE!" My father added. "WHY? HAVE YOU EVER TRIED LISTENING TO ME ONCE? NEVER. IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE SO MUCH PRIDE IN YOURSELVES, AND YOU CAN'T ACCEPT MY DECISIONS EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW THEY ARE RIGHT! BECAUSE YOU ARE THE PARENTS, WHAT YOU WANT IS THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS THE ONE CORRECT! AND THAT'S BETTER, ATLEAST YOU'RE NOT ENTERING MY LIFE ANYMORE AND MAKING IT WORST!"

Then there was a moment of silence. My father grabbed my mother's hand roughly and went away. When I checked their room, they were packing all their things in their bags. They looked at me and said; "You don't love us anymore, and so for the better, we have to leave you here." My mom and dad closed the door to our house and left me alone inside, crying. All the drama has caused a worse nightmare, and because of that, I have to live alone all by myself. It's a harder life, but atleast my parents are gone now. No more staring villains.

So would they really do that and not come back for me anymore? I think they have a better life without me, and I have a better life without them. Some of my stress has been relieved. But they will also learn their lesson. When days pass and I will be gone, they will blame themselves for leaving me and not even staying home to fix the problem. Because even you hate someone, you can still try to be friends with that person, cuz there's a feeling of regret when they fade and wash away like ash. But it seems like my parents doesn't care, so it means, they will just wait until I disappear? How heartless, about what my father said, I think he is the DEMON. It's like they're burning my body, leaving me like ash or dust, and just wash or dump me away somewhere. I feel so unloved, what kind of life was given to me? I don't understand anything, and I need someone to make me feel real happy and smile. I need someone to hold my hand and tell that everything's gonna be alright. I need someone to hold me, carry me when I fall. Life is nothing but a nightmare.

It's still 3:25, so it means there's still some left time where I can do my stuff before nighttime. I decided to go to a park and ride the swing, so I could celebrate my loneliness.
When I reached the park, I quickly rode the swing. Everything was just so fine until I saw 9-year olds playing together happily, they chased each other, acted goofy and were truly enjoying. My eyes kinda moisted, if we never left Cincinnati, I still must be happy and have friends like this who can always protect me. And now that we moved here, I was a loner because I could talk to no one and everyone would just bully me. If I were to tell a teacher, the teacher wouldn't understand and just do the same thing and might even call me a fool.
Next thing I saw that made me tear up, are families. I saw a mother, a father, and a child. The father was raising the child up and down, and when he puts her down, she runs in circles making the parents chase her. The mother happens to catch her daughter, and they snuggled altogether while giggling. That's how happy me and my family were in the past, the past. The past and present can hurt. I hate almost everything, I cannot love anymore. Why? Because the word "love" itself, I don't know the meaning of it. Cuz I can barely feel it all the time. The only thing I mostly understand now is "hate", because that's what always put on me. Everyone always put their hate on me. Which I am really tired of. I wanna give up, but there's a future ahead of me. I don't wanna waste it. So I'm trying to be strong even it's hard, I'm trying to.

The next day, I was walking my way to school. Nothing feels better than being alone and feeling the atmosphere you like. I was passing by the street lanes until I collided with Hikari. "Oh, it's you again." I said emotionlessly. I don't feel like anything today, my emotions ran out of improvement when my parents left. At the same time, I don't wanna talk about it to Hikari. I don't want him to be the person always trying to make a solution to solve my problems and make me feel better. That seems like it will make me spoiled, I need to live and grow up defending myself..

"What's wrong? Did anything happen again?" Hikari asked me worriedly, though, I didn't look at him neither answer his question. It doesn't seem like it's bothering him anyway. Then, he slapped me gently in the back and surprised me. "Hey! Am I even talking to somebody?" Hikari's voice became loud, it's not like his normal, calm tune. "But the person you're talking to is not minding you." I replied back agressively. "You answered me, so it means you minded me." He said. "Can you stop it? I know we're friends, but I don't wanna act like a spoiled brat always asking help from you!" I started crying, I can't believe it. So early in the morning I was already frustrated. "And I promised you that I will be your angel no matter what happens, right? So please, just tell me." Hikari held my arms firmly, they almost hurt. He was giving me more of a serious look. "Fine, fine.. Yesterday my parents just scolded me and reached their limits, and they left me home, all alone." I slowly spoke, trying not to tear up again. I'm such a crybaby, atleast I'm not teased neither bullied for that.. Hikari let go of my arms and said; "If that so, don't worry about it. You are still their daughter and they can get homesick in the place where they stay, and there's a chance they will come back here again, for you. Because they're worrying about you, and that symbols that they love you." Those words are confidential, but I still group myself more with the negative. "Do you even think that's still possible..?" I asked. "I promise they'll come back and miss you."
We paused for a moment. Just then, Hikari handed his handkerchief to me. "This is yours now. So everytime you cry and wipe your tears, you will think and remember me." That was also like a treasure of memory. I wiped my tears, and hid it in my bag. "Thanks." Realizing that we're almost late for school, we rushed and ran as fast we can. And good thing, we can reach school before time comes!

I silently sat in my chair, and waited for the teacher. The handkerchief is my savior. It made me stop fading like ash.

Just make sure, don't make me fade like that.