Mika
Nginitian ko ang sarili ko sa salamin nang makita kong okay na ako sa suot ko. Today, will be our first monthsary.
Simple dinner lang naman ang pinlano namin ni Josh ngayon, since we are so busy with our work.
Beep.
Agad akong lumabas ng bahay nang marinig ko ang busina ng kotse niya.
"Hi there, beautiful." Bati niya at inalalayan na ako papasok sa loob ng kotse niya.
Nginitian ko siya, "Hello there, handsome." Sabi ko. Gwapo naman talaga si Josh. I mean, palagi siyang gwapo. As in everyday. "so saan tayo?" I asked him. Alam kong may date kami pero hindi ko alam kung saang resto nagpa reserve si Josh.
"you'll know later..." he winked at me at tsaka pinaandar ang kotse.
"ikaw talaga, dami mong alam. Bakit di mo nalang sabihin??"
"secret nga, it wont be a surprise if I'll tell you."
"hay naku, Torralba."
Few minutes have passed at seryosong seryoso lang si Josh sa pag ddrive. Mukhang ang lalim naman ng iniisip.
Tsaka ko lang napansin na ibang direksyon kami lumiko. Teka, pa airport na to ah.
Nilingon ko si Josh. "Josh?"
"hmm?"
"saan ba tayo?"
"to the place where you should be" he said without looking at me.
"huh?" Ang weird naman, saang lugar ba ako nararapat?? Hindi na niya ako nasagot nang ihinto niya ang sasakyan. Nasa tapat kami ng airport.
"Josh, ano to?"
"I think, this will be the best monthsary gift I can give to you... Sige na Miks, baka hindi mo na siya maabutan."
I was confused. "j-josh"
"Don't worry about me, Miks. I'm going to be okay. Your own happiness matters to me. At alam kong di ako ang magpapasaya sayo ng totoo. Its Jeron from the start and he will always be til the end."
Di ko na napigilan ang luha ko at napayakap ako sa kanya. "Josh, bakit mo to ginagawa?"
He broke the hug and wiped my tears. Naiiyak na rin siya. "Dahil mahal na mahal kita, Mika."
"Hindi mo to kailangang gawin..." I shook my head. Sobrang bait na tao ni Josh and hurting him this way doesn't deserve him.
"I have to do this. It's a must. Mahal kita pero hindi naman kaya ng konsensiya kong hayaan kang maging akin na alam ko namang may isang taong mas magpapasaya sayo. I know from the beginning that Jeron has an edge. But I did still try my luck. Loving me back has been the most amazing part you've done to me and its enough. Kaya ngayon, I'm letting you follow your true happiness."
He smiled.
"josh, I swear, I tried na kalimutan siya... God knows I tried...." I looked at him straight in the eyes. Totoo naman eh, hindi naging rebound si Josh. I love him but i love someone more.
I held his hand. "kung nadidiktahan lang ang puso, I would choose you. Pero pasaway eh." I tried to joke since ang bigat na ng atmosphere namin. Gusto kong pagaanin ang nararamdaman niya. Alam kong mahirap to.
"Yeah, I saw how you tried to forget him. And I'm very proud of you for being strong. But somehow, sabi mo nga, pasaway ang puso at hindi nadidiktahan." He pinched my right cheek. "Thank you for that one month of letting me feel that I am important to you. At least in a month, I became the happiest man in the world. Pero may taong nakalaan na para sayo and sadly its not me." Napayuko ako. Nasasaktan na kasi si Josh, alam kong nasasaktan na siya. Transparent na tao si Josh kaya kahit anong gawin niyang ngiti, kitang kita ko sa mga mata niya ang sakit. I hate myself for hurting him this way!
