Playful Smile

12.Escape

Minah's POV

Ngayon nandito ako sa school. Bored na bored na naglalakad.

Iniisip ko kung pano ko ibibigay yung P.E uniform ni Red sa kanya, kung hindi ba naman ako tanga, nag punta na nga ko sa mokong na yun kahapon sa condo niya, hindi ko pa nadala at naisauli yung letseng P.E niya.

Mag papakumbaba nanaman ba ko? Bababaan ko nanaman ba yung pride ko?

"Aray Ano ba?!" Inis na tanong ko after may makabunggo sakin.

Baliw! Bulong ko, pano ba naman para siyang tangang nag tititili mag isa, habang tumatakbo, may humahabol ba sayo te?

Maya maya mas lalo pang dumadami yung nag tatakbuhan.

May Fun Run ba? Bat di ako nainform.

Nagulat ako ng biglang may umakbay sakin.

"Hey girl, tara sama ka sakin." Si Kathy, na abot tenga yung ngiti, sinabayan ko nalang siya.

"Anong meron?" I asked.

"Basta, Tara!" She said tas bigla akong hinatak at tumakbo.
Aso ba ko?

Napansin kong parang masyadong maraming tao sa music room, sa labas palang nito puno ng tilian. Napa atras ako ng makita nga na crowded yung place.

"What?" Kathy asked curiously.

"You know I don't want that kind of place." I said.

"Tsk. Look hindi ka naman mamatay sa ganyang lugar. You need to conquer your fear." She said.

I sigh.

Hinatak ako ni Kathy papasok at jusko marami ngang tao, pero naalintana yun nang marinig ko yung isang boses ng lalake, yung boses na yun, yung boses na unang nag pabilis ng tibok ng puso ko na dapat kong pigilan.

*Stuck by Darren Espanto*

*I was to dumped to notice that there's something about you, what  am I suppose to do? As I wish I knew*

Tatalikod na sana ako para umalis pero hinawakan nanaman ako ni Kathy at this time hinatak niya ko papalapit sa harap, nakipag sisikan pa kami. My heart keeps beating fast. I don't know kung dahil ba kay Red o dahil nga sa phobia ko.

"Excuse me, excuse me." Nag mamadaling sabi ni Kathy.

’Ano ba?’

’Aray!’

Inis na sinasabi ng mga nakakabunggo namin.

And finally nakarating na kami sa harap, Todo ngiti si Kathy pero ako? Hindi ko alam kung ano ba dapat maramdaman ko?

*All the butterflies I felt inside, never really matter, all the wishful thoughts and sudden smile and it being shattered, what are we suppose to do, I'm hopelessly Addicted to you, but you never felt the same.*

Nakikita ko nanaman siya, his posture, emotions, movements while singing. I can't help but to be satisfied.

*dugdugdug*

He saw me, he looked at me, He gave me an eye contact, but he removed it immediately, He looked at other direction, He acted like he didn't saw me, and in that way it really affected me. Am I affected to him? All I want is to be his friend, he made the first moved, but he didn't continue it, he just made the first moved, but the last? He made me do it.

*Time may passes by, but you'll stay stuck on my mind, and the moment we stared that night, I thought it was right, but maybe I was wrong all along.*

"Her are you okay?" Bigla kong siniko ni Kathy at tinanong. Medyo balisa rin ako. Hindi talaga ko komportable sa masisikip na lugar.

"Of course I am." Pag sisinungaling ko.

*I held onto something that never really matter, start on that starting line, I'm still silently, quietly hoping you'll end up with me.*

"Aaahm, Kathy, I think I need to go." I said.

"Ha? Why?" He asked.

"May gagawin pa kong assignment sa Math." I said.

"Okay lang yan, mangopya ka nalang sakin mamayaya." She said.

"Tsk, ipapasa na natin yun mamaya." I said.

Nag poker face siya.

"Ano nga ba? Wala tayong klase ngayon, mamayang hapon pa, may meetings yung mga teachers, and may mga aasikasuhin padaw silang kaek ekan." She said.

"Tsk basta, natatae ako, naiihi, basta I really need to go."

Aalis na sana ako, pero nagulat ako nang bigla kong hawakan ni Kathy ng mahigpit sa wrist.

"Tatakas ka nanaman ba?" She asked.

Nagkunot noo ako.

"Ha?" I asked.

"Akala mo ba hindi ko alam? Your trying to escape your true feelings, your trying to escape everything! Your too strange Minah." She said.

Inalis ko yung pag kakahawak niya sa wrist ko.

"Ano bang pinag sasabi sabi mo? Hindi ako komportable sa masisikip na bagay. I know you know that. Kailangan ko ng umalis bago pa ko mag collapse dito." I exclaimed at umalis na.

I'm not trying to escape everything, I'm just protecting myself.

Nang makaalis ako, I don't know why am I being so disappointed.

I was expecting na hihinto siya, titigil siya, hahabulin niya ko, kagaya nang ginawa niya sa ATM bar, but I'm wrong, siguro masyado lang akong nag assume.

Isa pa. Hindi ako masyadong nag karoon ng panic reaction kanina, when in fact I have a phobia.