I took in a big breath and removed the pillow from my face. At lease I wasn’t welcomed with the bright sun today. Which reminds me, where is the sun? I turned to my left and grabbed my alarm clock. Five thirty. Defiantly to early to get up. I looked to my right and found the bed empty. Right, its Monday. How I loathe Monday’s.
I yawned and slowly got out of bed. I walked downstairs and searched for James. I found him in the kitchen eating a large breakfast.
“Your fat.” I muttered and walked past him.
“This food isn’t only for me, I also told the chef to make it for you.” He told me with a smile.
I rolled my eyes and looked over at the breakfast buffet. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, hash browns, pictures of milk and orange juice. Most days I would kill for this food. Most days I would crave this food so much and eat it all in less than an hour. But today wasn’t most days. It was a sad day. I was supposed to grieve. But even though I knew all of that, I really wanted that food.
I scrunched my nose in disgust and looked through the cabinet for cereal. I looked through the many boxes of cereal and found an un opened box of Apple Jacks. I smiled and took the box.
“You know I could have asked one of the chefs to do that for you? Even though I asked them to make this breakfast for you. And you chose cereal.” He scuffed, rolled his eyes, and took a bite of his pancakes.
“Sorry James, unlike you I can make and get food for myself. I don’t need anyone to make it for me. I’m pretty sure that you don’t even know how to make a poptart.” I said, putting cereal into a bowl and filling it with milk. I took a spoon from one of the drawers and sat next to James.
“Yes I do. Put it in the microwave.” He answered in a matter of fact tone.
I rolled my eyes, “Your fucking stupid.”
“What ever happened to ‘lets try to make this work’?” He asked, referring to last night.
I sighed and turned to him, “Look James. About last night, I was delirious and sad. I probably didn’t know what I was talking about. You and I both know that we will never be anything close to friends. We’re like programmed to hate each other. Our parents ruined our lives from day one because of this stupid arranged marriage. So lets not play make believe and pretend that its all going to be okay and we’re going to be the best of friends and have a happy marriage. Lets just leave it at we get married and have a child. We don’t have to love each other or anything. All we have to do is pretend.”
James’ mouth hung open. He stared at me. His month closed and opened again, as if he was ready to say something. I finished the last bit of my cereal and put the rest in the sink.
“But what if it doesn’t work. What if pretending comes to reality?” He asked as he stared at me with a confused look.
I rolled my eyes and turned to him. It was as if all my anger pushed towards him and his head went two centimeters back from being stunned by my sudden change of mood from calm to angry. “Don’t you realize it? It’ll never come to that.” I let out a breath of air and went towards the stairs. James yelled something to me but I couldn’t make out the words from my tears.
Why I was crying? I don’t know, call me later and find out. I walked into our room and closed the door behind me. I went into the bathroom, got undressed, walked into the tub, and turned on the water.
I kept crying and I don’t know why. I couldn’t stop the tears. It was like my tears were just like the shower and they wouldn’t turn off unless someone did it for me. I still didn’t know why I was crying.
