Dhuha

Introduction 2.0 Kin's

"Kau tau tak, Kin..? Alangkah rugi mukmin itu bila dia memilih untuk berputus asa. Kononnya mencari jalan bahagia hakiki sedang tinggalkan jasad hanya penjara batang tubuh."

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"Sebab tu aku pergi, Kin."

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"Untuk selamatkan aku. Untuk selamatkan aku. How can I fix you when I'm broken..?"

"How broken, Mie..?"

"Unamendable. If I stay long enough, I'll died not simply be damned. Aku tak boleh putus asa. Bukan itu jenis kita, Kin. Bukan itu jenis orang hidup bertuhan. Bukan."

"When..? How..? Why..?"

"Aku pun acap kali tanya soalan yang sama. Bila keluarga aku porak peranda macam ni. Macam mana boleh jadi seteruk ni. Kenapa, kenapa dan kenapa."

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"Kau tak jumpa jawapan, kan Mie..?"

"Tak. Nil. Nada. Dhil."

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"Tapi aku jumpa aku. Diri aku. Aku jumpa solusi."

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"Retrospektif masa. Ibu asyik cakap aku tak lawan untuk dia. Aku tak tunjukkan emosi aku. Is it my battle to start with..? Dia buatkan aku rasa yang aku imun dari peperangan antara dia dan ayah."

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"I'm tired. Too effing tired. All along those time, I stand outside the line. Bystander. But how come it is always me ended up getting punch in the guts, getting out of it bruised..?"

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"Pagi tu, aku pergi hutan belakang taman tu. I simply sat there, under a tree. Watching the sky, counting the star. Tranquility that I never get at home. I'm not gonna lie, but yes I cried. I cried my heart out. It hurt. Like my lung, my heart and everything constricting in me, and I start hyperventilating. I collapsed and continue cried. Little did I know, the sun's about to make its appearance."

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"There, I see my dhuha few hours then. I start to calm down and everything."

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"I really get the ruhiyyah. It reach through me that Allah Taala says so no matter how dark the night it, how lonely it is, the sun always up for tomorrow. Bear a little longer, and you'll see the happy ending."

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"Please jangan hujan, Mie."

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"Haha. You aren't supposed to say 'don't cry' when someone's crying, Kin. You'll cause a river."

"Hahha, funny."

"Jangan hujan jugak, Kin."

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"Masa tu baru betul-betul meresap gist surah dhuha yang selama ni jadi penguat Nabi. Baru aku faham rasanya, you on the verge of give up, but you don't have reason to actually. 'Cause no matter how bad thing is, the day will come."

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"What they said, Kin..?"

"It's always dark before the dawn, eh..?"

"Indeed."

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"How come you never told me these..?"

"I'm sorry, Kin."

"I though you say about our battle. Mines are yours. Some way goes around..?"

"Kau normalcy aku. I can't taint you anymore."

"Yeah. Anymore. I get the phrase."

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"When will you learn I'm not going to jump the cliff with you. But I'll be there to catch you, Mie..?"

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"I get it now, Kin."

"Took you ages. Till today's dhuha, Kin."

"Selamat berdhuha then, Mie."