The Official Evil Villain Handbook

Chapter 1: Thinking Evil

The first step in becoming an Evil Villain is to think Evil. Before you can ever hope to have a secret lair, your every thought needs to be Evil. What is Evil Thought, you ask? Evil Thought is a state of mind. It must consume your every waking moment. In order to successfully think Evil do the following:

-Develop an infiriority complex and brood about it constantly. 

-Add Evil when talking about everyday objects and activities. i.e. Evil Toast, Evil Lamp, Evil Book, Evil Gardening, Evil Walking, etc.

-Stay awake late into the night planning Evil Plans. i.e. kidnapping, stealing, mass murder, and world domination. (How to properly plan Evil Plans will be covered later in this book.)

-Use as many terrifying, gloomy, or cryptic words/phrases as possible. i.e. horrific, brood, and The water buffalo likes spandex. 

-Mentally call anyone who does as you say your minion, subordinate, or henchmen. DO NOT call them this out loud -save that for your actual minions.

-Assume everyone and everything is out to get you. Paranioa is your friend...or is it? 

-Remind yourself daily that YOU are the best and always right. 

-Scold yourself when you fail.

-Anytime you mess up, start thinking of a way to blame someone else. A successful villain is never at fault. It's always someone else. (How to properly blame the Innocent will be covered later in this book)

The above Evil Thinking methods can be implemented at in time in any order. Do what feels comfortable to YOU. If you are not ready to develop an inferiority complex, then start off with something you are ready for. The Official Evil Villian Handbook is here to help and guide you, not control you. 

However, experts agree that you need to be doing at lease 5 of the 9 Evil Thinking Methods in order to be a successful Villian. It doesn't matter which 5 they are just so long as you are doing them. Remember a good foundation will make learning the rest that much easier.

When you decide to start Thinking Evil, you need to make sure to reward yourself for your Evil Thoughts. Make sure the rewards help you on your Evil Journey, i.e. black eyeliner, combat boots, dark trench coat, etc. And don't forget, if you reward yourself for success, you must punish yourself for failures. Pinching yourself or not eating your favorite foods are acceptable punishments at this stage. 

Now stop Evil Reading, and start Evil Thinking! Evil Think for at least 5 minutes before continueing on. It will help you understand the rest of the Evil Chapters.

A/N: To the right is an Evil Youtube linke featuring Dr. Doofenshmirtz demonstrating how an inferiority complex can serve as excellent Evil Motivation. Your inferiority complex does NOT have to be this extreme, but it is recommended that you have one.