Ghostly Relationships

Part Four: We Can't

"I love you, Min Hyo."

I look at that face that I used to know so well. He still looks like the five year old who was struggling to walk. Now, he's all grown up. 

"Hanbin-ah ..."

Why does he have to love me? If I hadn't died on that day, I would've easily replied, 'I love you too', but I can't. Because, well, I'm a ghost.

"Min Hyo, I know you're probably fed up with me taking this long to confess, but believe me - it's true." He looks at me. "Do you love me back?"

"I ..."

My eyes accidentally meet up with Hanbin's and I quickly avoid his gaze.

"The thing is ..."

His smile starts to fade.

"I ..." I sigh. I can't do it. "Yes... I love you too Hanbin~"

"This is great! I can't believe it! For a second there I thought you were going to say no." He laughs the truth off and hugs me, then slowly looks at me. "Min Hyo ..."

He leans over and his lips meet mine, and I can feel him smiling through the kiss.

But this isn't what actually happened.

What actually happened tore me apart. I couldn't believe my own words. It had to be done.

"I love you, Min Hyo."

He shyly looks away. I shake my head and begin crying. I'm not known for my crying, in fact I hardly ever cry, but this boy ... he's cutting up my heart.

"Min Hyo ... ?" He reaches out and touches my arm, and I flinch away from the pain. "Why are you crying?"

I stand up and look down at Hanbin. The love of my life that was once mine ... is lost. "I can't."

He tilts his head to the side, his shaggy hair falling onto his face. "What do you mean, 'I can't'? What do you mean, Min Hyo?"

"I CAN'T LOVE YOU, HANBIN!" I accidentally scream at him. Tears keep rolling down my face, the flow more steady now. "I'm sorry, but you don't know. You don't know what I am. Hanbin-ah, I wish I could love you, but I can't. That is all."

Hanbin sits there on the bench, processing my words. He clenches his jaw and pushes his red hair back in anger. Then he stands up and puts his face very close to mine. "I asked you a question, Min Hyo. Why can't you love me? Answer me please. Cut my losses."

I'm scared. I've never had him be angry and show it. Usually, if he gets frustrated, he just excuses himself. He never shows that side of him to me. "I can't tell you, Hanbin-ah. I can't tell you myself. Ask anyone who knows me, ask anyone, and they will tell you." I can sense myself slowly disappearing and I glance down and see my red gem beginning to flicker on. "For now, I must go. Please forgive me. I hope we meet again." 

I run behind some trees behind the bench and disappear. Hanbin stands there, still leaning forward, like I'm there. His face is slightly flushed and I can tell he's frustrated.

"ARGH!!" He yells out and slams his fist on the bench, then roughly pushes back his hair and yells again. I can tell that he's upset also, but I know he won't cry over this in public. Of course not. He jogs off after doing a quick scan of the park, making sure no one saw his quick outburst.

I appear out of my hiding spot and sit down on the ground in front of the bench. This is so annoying! We're tearing each other apart. We can't help ourselves ... we both love each other. 

The difference is, I just can't admit it.