Grounded (The 100 Fan-fiction)

Chapter 11 ( smartass)

I'd been told it would be nothing.
That there would be overwhelming darkness, a void of silence and still. but that is not
what I found. It was like remembering bits and pieces of things. Swirling visions, dreams, and memories thrown at me, bombarding every sense I had.

At some times, I was faced with moments from my past. Memories I'd tried to forget or escape. the Cold dead look in the eye of the first patient i'd ever lost. Or the abuse I'd seen in that of another child patient. The moment my mother died. or the look in my father's eyes as he shook his head and mumbled "take her" to his guards.

And it wasn't like in a moment when you see the flash of something and you quickly distract yourself to escape it. I couldn't escape it. these horrifying things kept coming at me.

And then it was conversations, with me and jasper. And then him laying dead and bleeding, eyes open staring me in the eye. that one lasted the longest and came back the most

And then there were things that felt like dreams. vivid, dreams. My mother laying next to me on a forest floor Telling me everything would be Ok.

And monty with a broken voice and a painful expression. "I Can't make it go away. I don't know how."

"you don't have to you know. It's ok to be in love monty." my mouth moved but the voice wasn't mine. it was someone else's. someone oddly familiar but at the same time new.

"You don't understand!" he argued a pained expression on his face. Gemma had never seen her friend so upset so totally distraught.

"he deserves to be with her..." he mumbled looking down at the ground. I looked down to see her. whoever it was that monty would lose love to.

If i were in charge, in control of dream me. I would have screamed, ran away, projectile vomited i don't know something. because when I looked down i saw myself. lying pale and bleeding i looked dead or close to it. and that's just a whole new kind of messed up.

i wasn't in charge of my actions however. So there was no running, nor was there puking. simply more words I didn't think, coming from lips that weren't mine to move.

"what jasper deserves is love. real love, two sided, whole hearted, 'you complete me' love. he deserves someone who can truly, honestly, with all that they are give themselves to him, and that's you monty... not me." i blinked quickly as my hand went to my lips surprised at my words.

jasper... and monty.

"He loves her... he'll be happy... with her. I won't take that away from him."

The vision ended there with monty looking down at my body with such desperate sadness, my heart could do nothing but break.

and that vision and all the others continued to haunt me for what felt like eternity.

And then it was just screams for the longest time.maddening, heart breaking screams I knew belonged to him. and worse still i just knew they were real.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Monty was sitting beside jasper. They'd brought him in hours ago. it was sometime deep into the night and nearly everyone was sleeping or getting there. but Monty was awake, and he planned to stay that way as long as he could. he didn't want to miss a second of that face. He wanted to make sure he was there, if jasper stirred or hurt, or needed a kidney or something . (Not that they could do much in such a case, but monty was far beyond logic.) he would be there.

He simply sat and stared with a wet cloth pressed to jaspers forehead, he waited. for something to be different.

Gemma was still out, and he couldn't help but think that was better. she'd be worried sick, and because she was worried she'd get hostile, and angry and probably do something stupid.