Let Me Love You

4

Falling in love with Sherri Saum has been one of the best and worst things of my life. One of the worst because I have to watch as she goes through hell, fighting over divorce with Kamar. But one of the best things because, well, she's Sherri Saum. She's been living in a hotel because she didn't want any kind of rumors about us. And yeah, I get that. I just miss her. She doesn't talk to me outside of shooting and I don't know why. I haven't done anything. Maybe she just needs time. Today's Monday, April 20th. And it's been a month since the interview. Things have been weird and I don't like it. I miss my Sher Bear. I got out of my jeep and went into the studio. Everyone's here and joking around. I walked over to Maia, Cierra and Sherri and they smiled. "Hey love bugs!" I said and kissed Sherri's cheek. "Hey!" Maia said, happily. "Mom.. I gotta talk to you." Cierra said. I furrowed my eyebrows but nodded as she grabbed my hand and dragged me away."What's up, love?" I asked when we were away from everyone. "We're worried about mama." She said, quietly. I furrowed my eyebrows again. "She's getting thinner, she has bags under her eyes and she tries to hide it, but they're still there. She isn't acting like herself, she never replies to our texts anymore and we're just worried." She said, concerned. "I noticed. I thought I was the only one though." I mumbled. She nodded. "I'll talk to her. Okay?" I asked. She nodded and i wrapped my arm around her shoulders. We walked back over to Sherri and Maia and Cierra went to stand beside Maia. I wrapped my arms around Sherri's waist and she leaned into me. "Can we talk for a minute before shooting?" I whispered. "Mhm." She hummed. I pulled away and grabbed her hand in mine. I pulled her behind me and to the bathroom. We went in and she leaned against the wall. I leaned against the other one and it reminded me of when I found out she miscarried. I looked at her and damn. Cierra is right. She is thinner and she looks exhausted. "Sherri. Babe. You gotta tell me what's wrong." I said and looked into her eyes. She looked away and frowned. "I... I did something really stupid and I haven't been able to sleep or eat or anything." She said, her voice wavering. "Love, what did you do?" I asked, taking a step forward and cupping her cheek in my hand. "I-i went to talk to Kamar the night after our kiss and.. We were just going to talk but then we started drinking and we had sex." She said, her voice breaking and tears falling from her eyes. I took a step back and braced myself against the wall, feeling all the air leave my body like a punch to the gut.

Shaped like a gun this was our love
Shaped like an arrow that you pointed at me
Shaped like a heart this was your face
And everyone would say we're so perfect in every way

But we were only lovers torn in two
And under the covers we were nothing but through
Shaped like a gun this was our love
'cause we were only lovers torn in two

Shaped like a gun
This was our love

Taste of poison the kiss of your lips
Feelings of hate twist of fate
And I would always say lets just give it one more day

But we were only lovers torn in two
And under the covers we were nothing but through
Shaped like a gun this was our love
But we were only lovers torn in two

"Teri!" I jumped and turned to see Peter and Bradley looking at me funnily. "Can I talk to you?" Peter asked and nodded to the hall. I followed him out and took a deep breath. "What's going on with you? You were totally in your head. You've never had any problems with shooting before. You've never let anything get in the way of your career. What's going on?" He asked. I rubbed at my forehead and looked at the ceiling. "I'm sorry. I'll make sure to focus on-" "no Teri. What's going on. Really." He said. I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest. "Sherri went to Kamar the day after their fight in the parking lot. They got drunk and had sex. And now she doesn't know if they're going through with the divorce. I just.. I thought that we would maybe be something more than friends. Now I have no idea what's going on with us. I'm so worried about her. But she won't let me help her." I mumbled, tears filling my eyes. "Teri. She loves you. That's obvious. Her relationship with Kamar is unhealthy. She might just need your help to realize that." He said, gently. I nodded and took a deep breath. "Take a minute to breathe and refocus. Come on back in when you're ready." He said and squeezed my shoulder. I nodded and he went back on set. I leaned against a wall and took a few more deep breaths. It's going to be okay. You just gotta be there for her.

After a few minutes, I went back on set and Sherri looked upset. "What's wrong?" I asked and quickly walked over. "I'm... I feel bad that I got in your head." She whispered. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her gently. "Stop thinking so much." I whispered and she smiled a little.

Around 6 pm, we had wrapped for the day and I was walking Sherri to her car. "So, you and Kamar, huh?" I said and bit my lip. "I think I'm still going to go through with the divorce." She said. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "It's not a safe relationship. Yeah, we had drunk sex. But that doesn't change the fact that the feelings we had when we first met are gone. And besides. I can't be with him when I'm in love with someone else." She said. I smiled. "In love with someone else." I said. She nodded. "Yeah. Her names Teresa. She's so beautiful." She said and I blushed at her using my full name. "The last person that called me Teresa was my mom." I mumbled. She laughed and I did too. "Teri.. I got depressed after having sex with him. I was so worried I had fucked everything up with you and I. I was positive I had ruined everything. I knew I had lost you. I couldn't eat. Then I couldn't sleep at night because I laid there thinking about what you would do and how it would hurt you. And I'm so so sorry. I shouldn't have even gone to talk to him." She said. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her head 3 times before holding onto her tight. "Oh my love. You'll never lose me." I said, rubbing her back. She cried gently into the crook of my neck and I held onto her. "Shh. It's okay." I whispered. She pulled away and nodded. I wiped away her tears and she smiled a little. "I'll see you tomorrow, mama. I love you, Sher Bear." I said and smiled. She laughed gently and nodded. "I love you too, mom." She said and kissed me gently. I wonder if she kissed Kamar like this. We pulled away and I smiled. I went to my car and got in, then drove home. I don't know what Sherri and I are. Or if we are anything. Everything's just so confusing right now.