I Write For Me

28/01/2016

Dear, first love

Today was prom, and we were standing in the parking lot ready to be picked up separately.

I was so sure I was over you after everything you did, but there you were looking better than ever. I just wanted you to look at me, and think "Wow she looks beautiful" just for once, and maybe you did but I will never know.

I realized tonight that I still love you so very much. I love you, and it's not because you have changed, because you haven't. Not at all. Your still the same douchebag. Drinking, and ignoring people.

I have a guy that's madly in love with me right next to me, but all I can think about is you. I know he would treat me so much better, but I just know I could never love him the same way I love you.

I have done so many things to try and forget my feeling for you, and it worked for a while. However sadly mistook forgetting, for moving on.

I know you look at me. You do it so often, but I never know the reason behind it, and I want to know so badly.

You were sitting in that chair resting, and I stood there dancing making sure I was almost right by you. I wanted you to come up take my hand and ask me to dance. I just wanted you to dance with me.

I miss you so much. I miss the way we talked together. I miss the way I made you smile, and laugh. I even miss the way you confused me to death.

I was so afraid of loosing you, and now it feels like I have.

The only things I still have is the occasionally glances, and when I catch you staring, and our eyes meet for two amazing seconds before we both turn away.

I just want you to know that no matter what I will always be here for you when you need me, and I will always be there to make you feel better.

However there is really only one thing I can promise you and that is that no one can ever love you as much as I do right now.

Nevertheless as I sit here writing this with tears running down my red cheeks I want you to know you have broken my heart once again. I don't say it to hurt you. I say it so you know the affect you have on me, and even though you have broken my heart more times than I can remember I still love you as much as I did the day we were dared to kiss, and I managed to bite your lip. 

Now four years later I love you just as much as I did yesterday, and just as much as I will love you tomorrow. 

All the love, The girl you chose to forget.

- endless_styles