Traffic Lights ✓(tronnor)

4. Embrace ♡

'CONNOR!, CONDABON, FRANTA, CONFRANTASTIC, CONCHOBAR, FRANNY, SIVAN OR WHATEVER YOUR NAME MAY BE, CONNY, MY FRIEND. I'M SOOO PROUD OF YOU!' Lilly Singh storms into our room while yelling at Connor, her knees are poking to the side, an empty glass is in her hands and a toothpick is sticking out of her mouth. In other words: a drunk superwoman. I wake up with quite a start, I want to snatch my knife from my nightstand as an automatic reaction. I can hear the beep from far away starting up,  Connor stops me just in time, he grabs me and pulls me towards him, he then embraces me. I calm down, the beep disappears. 'ssh.. it's okay' he whispers softly. He knows me too well. My hands quit shaking. Lilly doesn't seem to notice, instead she opens her drunk mouth: 'You guys are sooo cute together, I always hoped you would get married, I shipped you two when troyler was still a thing' she mutters, in her head she's speaking very clear. She walks to Connor's side of the bed and sits down on it. She pats on her lap. 'Franta, come, sit with your old mama' she demands. Connor laughs and does as he's asked. For some reason, Lilly always thinks she's Connor's mother when she's drunk. I, myself, don't really see the resemblance, and neither does Connor. We joke a lot about it though. I want to climb out of bed, I don't need to witness this. I carefully swing my legs over the bed rail, but nothing passes superwoman's ears unnoticed. She looks at me; 'no, Franta 2.0, I want somebody to witness this crucial moment' she states and smiles a smile that I can't say no to. 'Connor Sivan, You're a master, a superman, your superman ways make my superwoman days seem like nothing. You're a hero! my hero! and I want you to always remember... that..' Lilly's voice cracks, her eyes well up. I look heavenward. Much to my relief the sound of Connor's phone interrupts this weird moment. Connor grabs it. 'Stop!' Lilly yells, 'a master like you should have someone to answer your phone, luckily I am here to fulfill that remarkable job' she adds. Connor looks weirded out as Lilly snatches his phone from his hands. she picks up. I don't get why Connor hasn't stopped this yet, he probably wants a story he can tell later on, I notice his grimace. 'Hello, you're speaking with the house of a master.' Lilly says proudly. Her face then grows gloomy as she listens to what the person on the other side has to say. she pretends like she fully understands every word, but her drunk brain can't handle all the words that the person says to her. I look at my husband quizzically, who shrugs. I feel my stomach turning a little when I hear the tone at which Lilly is saying her 'hmm' and I can see my husband feeling the same way. Lilly puts her phone down with shaking hands. She sighs briefly, it's silent while she thinks things through. 'How am I going to bring this..' she sighs, while her forehead creases. Connor mans up 'Cut the crap Lilly, what's the matter?' he asks. Lilly looks him in the eyes and takes a deep breath, she grabs both of his hands. 'Conchobar, my dear friend, the critics that your book has gotten, weren't exactly.. praiseful..' she says carefully. My heart skips a beat as I see Connor's stomach turning inside out. I see a glimpse of a red traffic light appearing by his side, I shake my head, but it doesn't go away. The look in his eyes saddens more with every second that passes. Lilly continues, 'as in, not that very much praiseful' she mutters. 'as in, kind of slashing and..' she stops when she sees Connor's puppy face, he shoves off Lilly's lap. It falls silent. You can hear the silence counting in our room. 21..22.. like a ticking timebomb, 23.. 24.. 'I should go!' Lilly suddenly yells, she knows she hasn't done that much good. She stumbles down the stairs and heads out the door. Connor is looking down on the duvet. His world is slowly falling apart, he's watching it crumble with his own eyes. The red light is shining brighter. Maybe if I communicate with him it will go away? I want to communicate with him. I crawl on the bed and move towards him. I put my hand on his shoulder. A tear is dripping down his face. I hug him, in a tight embrace. He gives in to his sadness and starts to cry on my shoulder. His shoulders are shaking, he sniffles and I hug him tighter, like I can hug the pain away. I can feel the blue energy from his  blue personality seeping into my bones, it weakens my muscles, 'I just don't understand..' he whispers softly, his voice cracking. I pull away from the hug and look into his eyes trying to get through him. I cup his face in my hands and wipe his tears away with my thumbs. 'We'll go to your publisher' I tell him. He nods. I smile, he forces one. I walk out of the room, so I can take my pills I have been hiding from him. I walk down the stairs and I stagger, the depth below me seems to move, my vision won't focus. I snatch my pills and put them in my mouth, although they seem to work less every time I take them.

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