Slowly | ✔

fourteen

Messages recorded @ 25/09/12
James: you there?
Violet: james, do you love me?
James: yeah.. I suppose i do
  Violet: omg im so happy xx
James: gotta run
James has gone offline.

Happiness urged its way onto my face. A real smile, the first real smile I'd had on my face for months. Finally, the love of my life is mine. I squealed inside, then remembered the meeting me and James had arranged a few days ago at his place, so I chucked on some skinny jeans and a top and walked quickly to his house.

Aw, James is so sweet. I walked around the back of his house where his french windows stood, then peered in. What the hell.. On his beige sofa was his figure towered over a girls small frame, his lips smashing onto hers. The happiness hid away again, and out came the feelings of depression, suicide and sadness. A tear fell from my eye, and landed on the hem of my shirt. I slammed the bracelet he gave me onto the floor, then cried myself home, looking in the mirror to see a sad girl. My hair was blonde and dirty, my eyes had dark rings under them, and my eyes were red from crying. I wasn't the old funny Violet, I was the new one. The depressed one. And who made me that depressed girl? James did. He made me die inside, he made me feel humiliated, he made me feel worthless. My eyes now focused on the nature landscape outside the bathroom window, the sea peacefully swaying in time with the suns' order. Birds flew across the blue landscape, landing on a branch. Together. I grabbed a knife from my drawer and lunged it into a vivid vain, blood dripping onto the white towel. I cried out in pain, screaming for help. I was stupid. I sat lifelessly on my tiled floor, a cloth compressed onto my slit wrist. Memories came flooding back to me now about James. Memories that would be forgotten. The same conversation we had replayed in my head.

  "You should just forget me, you're too attatched."

Well James, I will fucking forget you. I will forget everybody. I will forget my life. But trust me, I won't forget my feelings. They were too strong, too clear to be forgotten.

  Well this is it. My last breaths alone. My last words alone. My last view alone. I would say I enjoyed this expierance of life, but I didn't. My eyes averted to the rope I steadily hung from the cabinet, then inhaled my last piece of fresh air, then exhaled it. I bit my lip then took out my phone.

   Messages recorded @ 26/09/12
  Violet: James, I'm going. I will forget you. How could you?
   James: Do what? Going where!
  Violet: We didn't even speak and you ended up cheating on me. Im going to heaven, James.
  James: Stop playing games, Violet.
  Violet: I'm not fucking playing with you. I'm done. You caused this.. Bye James. Have your wish. I'll forget you.
   Violet has gone offline.

I guess.. This is it. For real. James, no fucking games involved. I'm done with this shit. I hope you feel proud. I hope you feel proud for making me feel like this. Honestly, it might be exaggeration to some people.

     But when you've felt what I've felt, nothing is more exaggerated.

My body shook as I stepped on the footstall, then inserted my neck through the loop. I backed away and grabbed a sticky note. 'I love my family, I'm sorry for this..' Then stuck it on the cabinets surface, then my head entered the loop again. I cried, my nerves controversal, one foot off the edge. Then the door opened, startling me, resulting in me choking, the faint outline of a face now fading into darkness.

J A M E S P O V

I gasped, my body buckling on my knees. Infront of me was Violets' corpse, a young, beautiful girl who I'd made feel like this. She was 14. She had a life to live.. I was an idiot.
 
Violet, I'm sorry.
Violet, I love you.n
Violet, I was a dick.
Violet... Why did you go?

S A R A H S P O V (violets mum)

I ran upstairs, ensuring the safety of my daughter was still there. I looked in her room and noticed it empty, then looked in the bathroom to see a crying boy. "Whats wrong?" He pointed to a body, and I cried out in horror. My baby girls figure was pooled in blood from a slit wrist, and she was on the ground with rope tied around her neck. I ran over to the note and read it before clasping her hand, checking for a pulse. "No... NO! WHY MY BABY GIRL? WHO DID THIS TO HER!?" I saw James' eyes twitch. "Was it you?" My fists clenched, then I waited for his reply. "Yes. It was me." I stared at him, then hitting him, the sound echoing throughout the tiny room. "What did you do to her!" He looked down shamefully. "I made her die inside, everyday. I made her kill herself." I looked at him in disgust, then whispered something in his ear. "Karma's a bitch, so don't cry if you get killed." I saw his eyes widen a little, but I exited the room, running downstairs and sitting at the table. I banged my fists down onto the mahogany wood, burying my face into my hands, crying. Why her! She had a full experience yet to adventure. She had a full life ahead of her, and some boy comes and eats her up inside? She looked fine on the outside. But I guess she felt like she had broken ribs.. Every breath hurt. She was a good actress, too good. I thought she told me everything. Why did she keep this all to herself? Over these past few months shes been acting strange, quieter than usual. But i didn't question her. I was an idiot. I couldn't even notice how much pain she felt to kill herself?

   VIOLETS POV

All i felt was numbness, then woke up to a white cloud beneath me. I thought I was dreaming, but I didn't know.

    But I knew that I died suicidally, caused my depression and sadness.
       I knew that I was eaten up inside.
           And I knew that I should've spoke up when I had the chance.

AN// hope you all enjoyed the chapter, there might be a funeral chapter but this is over 1100 words WOOO! xx