Something Like Fate (editing)

Chapter 12 - I'm Hot And Bothered, And Not In A Good Way

Chapter 12 - I'm Hot And Bothered, And Not In A Good

Dedicated to ToastedBagels because she’s a great writer and shares my love for Downton Abbey and the ever fine Branson.

To say the party sucked would be an understatement. It was full of people from college who had obviously never heard that alcohol in limitation was the best way to go if the way they were taking shots was any indication. The girls were being hit on by some unbelievably sleazy guys who were channelling Robin Thicke from the Blurred Lines video and I had luckily escaped their radar.

The party was full of all the usual people – the girls in the corner that got a pity invitation, the people sitting on the couch talking about how the ‘environment needs to be saved from evil corporations, duh’ because what better way to make a party then to drivel on about something that a bunch of horny and high teenagers don’t care about, and then right in the centre of the room were all the guys and girls who were trying to looking like they were in a rap video with all the thrusting and grinding.

I turned my gaze away from the junkies, who were rolling up some joints, and kept leering at me. Yeah, because I would really go for a lame guy whose idea of living the high life was breaking the law. Woo hoo, let’s all go wild and damage the few brain cells we already had. This party wasn’t doing anything for me but sometimes a girl just has to put on her red lipstick and suck it up.

Since I had some free time between yelling ‘PISS OFF YOU PERV’ at the guy who smacked my butt at the party and doing our obligatory Backstreet Boys dance, I thought I'd ask Lucy about one night stands. I was in no way interested in going around bumping uglies with a spotty, lanky guy who wears too much cologne but after listening to Lucy tell me about she was going to try and find someone tonight, my interest was piqued. She’s a one night stand aficionado and holds the world record for leaving a guy’s bedroom without waking him up in 10 seconds flat, and only once was caught when she kicked him in the face while putting on her boots. 

“Lucy, what does it feel like?” I asked as I couldn’t conjure up images of me being that open and carefree.

“It’s fucking great depending on who it is. I don’t go searching for a passably good looking guy who thinks he can show little old me a thing or two. I see a guy I like, we talk for a bit about life and then he asks me back to his place. I then had to spend the next morning telling him that just because I want to kiss him doesn't mean I want to love him, remind him to feed the kids, and watch him get a beer belly.”

I rolled my eyes as I already knew about Lucy’s one night stand tactic’s and how I make sure I ask for the guy’s details when she asks me if I’m ok with her leaving with him. I get his address, phone number and at least two references before allowing them to get all touchy feely and warn her that if she doesn’t call me the next day at a certain time then I WILL call both her parents and the police making them aware of her little escapades. I’m a good friend like that you see.

“Is it as big as a Snickers bar?” I whispered as we were standing next to Phoebe and Will who probably wouldn’t appreciate finding out fittie Seth Evers ‘talent’.

“Sophia, I’m not telling you that,” Lucy said in a low voice while rolling her eyes.

“You can’t get together with the fittest guy at college and not expect me to be curious. Come on, you, along with the 50 shades book that I’m hiding under my bed from my parents, are my sources for all things that my grandmother warned me against.”

“Seth was like that book you waited for a year to come out and were then disappointed,” she announced decisively. “Mainly because he made it all about him and those Megan Fox posters staring down were creepy as hell. But to his credit he when he put on that pink thong…”