I'm coming into myself and becoming an extremely happy person as each moment passes. I'm learning that in order for me to be happy I have to learn to disengage myself from people at one point or another. I go out of my way to make people that don't even matter feel important because i'm weak. I can acknowledge this and take full responsibility for every situation that I have gotten into because of my weakness. I don't know why I FEEL like I need people around when i KNOW i don't and that I could make it on my own. People are around because i want them to be and not because I need them to be. I guess that's just one conflict between mind and emotion that I need to solve.
Happiness is such a warm thing. Like a fire that burns the forest from top to bottom. A filling fire that doesn't destroy. A fire that touches everything in it's path, loving everything. NO. There's a brightness in happy beings that shines through and blinds others until they're hypnotized and basking in the warmth of that person. The light, blinding and wonderful, is energy that isn't created or destroyed but transferred. Transferred from religion to religion, from race to race, a filling energy. My happiness was transferred to me from a force of unbelievable anguish and passion.
I'm coming into myself. NO. Coming out to myself about things that I already knew but never verbalized.
So i'm waking up in the sun. THE FUCKING SUN IS SHINING. Shining everywhere. On my heart and on my life what more could I ask for ? The Bright noise of young children is overshadowed by the wind that is carrying them back and forth, across the field and home again. Who knew that such comfort and love could come from within? It's amazing how much we know but how little we choose to acknowledge. I knew that things would happen to me even before it happened and still chose to go through with it in spite of the consequences. But who cares? Because at this moment the sun is SHINING on my face, fillng my BEING and it's all because of me, no outside influence.
WE HAVE THE SECRETS TO THE UNIVERSE, CHOOSE YOURSELF.
Someone brought to my attention a while ago that I wasn't choosing myself (which I already knew), but to have someone solidify it in words was the last straw. It's something about phrases.
CHOOSE YOURSELF, THIS DOES NOT EQUATE TO BEING SELFISH.
You matter.
|YOURSELF|
Silenced kissed your lips. Our lips. Togetherness...
I mean if love was silent you'd have my love.
Life has been spent in your hot hands, my hands can't wait to hold your silence.
You break my skin with your love, that's what you call it "love"
"Yourself," my favorite word for you and you don't stop me.
You don't include me in your silence, I'm held to the standard of my forefathers.
"Yourself," my mom told me to think about...
I don't think I am the same myself as people seem to think I am which hurts me more than they know.
