It was me. I just so happened to be the unlucky girl to fall into a situation like love with someone who was already in a situation like love with someone else. The most painful situation. Especially when you're an observer and you take notice to human behavior. When you believe there's a meaning behind every idea and action that someone manifests. It's deep. It becomes a rhythm and a pattern. When you notice that the songs they prefer are sad songs or about their past love. It's a nagging and deep pain. You realize that their ideas and pain and love is directed to someone different. Their only desire is to love in the correct way but a love that is different than the last one. You realize that they love you but there always will be a part of that person that means more to them than you ever will. It's even worse when the person that you love and the person that the love are aware that the impact they have is great, but there is a silver lining. It's the piano interlude that I think about that reminds me that I am myself and that the love of the person that I love has the POTENTIAL of blossoming with time. Time is of the essence. We'll see.
My life is a field of not yet bloomed orchids. Not regular orchids but the Butterfly-orchid, the rare ones. I'm moving quickly into a future that may or may not provide a sense of security and positive light that I need. My masculine partner whom I adore is moving his hands systematically over his piano while i write this and is providing me with much needed inspiration. He's an artist, a person completely dedicated to his craft. I'm not sure. He's a complex individual.
This is the interlude to my life and it's slow and light. A beautiful light at the end of the tunnel. I have to take care of myself because no one else can hold the sole responsibility of taking care of me. There's a Silver lining, [266] and [622] are helping find my way and that's partly because i'm learning that it's okay for friends to mean more to you than family does sometimes. Friends have an understanding, a trust, something built in once you reach the peak of your friendship.
This was an interlude short and sweet. A bridge for what i'm writing next.
