Magcon Imagines and Preferences

Real talk

So I'm sitting here, tears drenching my cheeks, breath hitching as I try to inhale, and whole body just shaking. And I'm thinking "is what they said true? Am I really fat?"
And all I can say is yes. Yes. They're right about everything. Everything that they say is true, I'm fat and I have a flat ass.
And my crush from last year also said that he was going to ask me out, but then came to his sanity.
And that, I think, hit me the hardest. When I read that message from my friend, describing what these boys had said about me, my stomach began hurting. I felt like I was going to vomit. But for some reason, at that very moment, I didn't feel sad, or angry. I felt, exposed. And betrayed. And almost... Regretful. Exposed because now a boy I don't even know thinks of me in such a way I'm ashamed of, and I didn't even do anything to make him feel this way. Betrayed because I talked to this boy for months, letting him in and accepting him for who he is. And regretful because I spent so much time on him, spent so many days wondering, does he like me? And now, he's sitting behind a glass window, judging my every move. I know, I tell you all stay strong even when the worst has come. But I can't now. This has hit me harder than I ever expected something like this would.
If they say I'm fat, I must be fat.
If they say my ass is flat, it must be flat.
If he said he was going to ask me out but then changed is mind, there must be something wrong with me.
And so I sit here, thinking about everything I could do to make this end.
Stop eating
Start exercising
Stop going to school
Use other methods to distract myself

Die.
But that last one is just a little too much for me.
So basically what happened is today, I was having a wonderfully normal, and okay day. And then I went to math, like I always do, with one of my best friends. And we sat, and learned stuff. And then, when I get up to leave, I get a snapchat from one of my friends in a classroom right next to us. She sits near my ex crush and his friend. She told me there was something she needed to tell me. So I asked her what.
The boys were looking through the glass, and were talking about how I was fat and had a flat ass. That didn't bother me as much as I would've expected it to.
But then, I read the end. And it said that the boy I liked last year thought about asking me out. And that made me SO happy, I don't even know why. Because what I read after that ended any happiness I was feeling at that moment.
"But then I came to my sanity."
Now I understand that to most, that doesn't mean much. But to me it means there's something wrong with me, something I need to change.
And I don't what.
So, long story short, if I don't update it's because I'm crying. Or trying to find ways to forget him. Because I spent so much fucking time on him last year, and now, it's nothing. Poof, gone just like that.
Nothing.
It doesn't even matter anymore.