Love You Goodbye

Chapter Thirteen

Nic's POV
There's no way. No fucking way she can pull that one out right now. She is five months pregnant and engaged to another guy; to my boss's boss, nonetheless.
As soon as we were in the hotel room, I started a bath for Addie. She was awake again after the bell boy decided he'd ring the elevator button more than once.
"Da, da, da, duh da." Addie muttered the tune to one of my songs. I turned my head and smiled.
"What, Daddy?"
"You like that song?"
She nodded.
"Should we play it and put up a video?"
She clapped, "Yea!"
I chuckled, "Alright, we'll do it tomorrow then." I motioned for her to walk to the tub. "Check the water, babe." Ads stuck a hand in the water.
"Good, daddy."
"Alright."
Without prompting her, she undressed and climbed her way into the tub. I grabbed her soap from the bag I brought from the bus.
"Where's Ellie?"
My gaze shifted to my daughter. "What?"
"Where did Ellie go? Why isn't she here too?"
My heart broke and I sighed. "El is on the bus. She isn't going to stay with you tonight, but you'll see her in the morning."
"Why isn't she here?"
"Baby, quit asking questions. You'll see her tomorrow."
"Why not now?"
"Addie." I pushed softly.
"Daddy, I wan-"
"Addison." I said firmly. "El isn't here right now. You will see her tomorrow. End of discussion."
She was quiet as I lathered her body and hair with the soap. She muttered to herself; something she's picked up from me over the years.
I used the break away shower head to rinse her off. This was the quietest bath we've had in almost four years. I felt bad for raising my voice, but I can't have her asking all of these questions about Elise right now.
"Dada?"
Her quiet voice broke my trance. "Yes?"
"Somebody at da door."
I turned off the water and gave her a bath toy. "I'll be right back."
Her head nodded up and down. I could tell she was getting tired.
I got up and walked to the door. "Who is it?"
"It's me." Her voice was quiet.
I leaned against the door. "Not now. Please."
"I just want to tell her good night, Nic."
I sighed. "Not tonight, El. I told her tomorrow." I said softly.
"Nic." She pleaded.
"No."
I heard her slide down the other side of the door. "Nic. She's my daughter and I want to tell her good night. Just because I pissed you off doesn't mean you can keep me from my daughter."
"I'm not doing this on purpose, Elise. She's all over the place and I just told her she'd see you tomorrow."
"Open the door, Nic. Please."
I gave in, knowing she won't leave until I comply.
She stood up and immediately pressed her lips to mine. My initial thought was to push her away, but I couldn't. I gave in. My arms wrapped around her waist as I pulled her closer, but kept us out of Addie's line of sight.
"Daddy?"
Elise pulled away at the sound of Ads. Her fingers touched her lips. I stared at her features, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.
"Daddy?" Ads called again.
"I-I should go get her out." I said softly.
Elise nodded her head. "Yeah, um, call me when she's getting into bed." She turned and walked out of the room. I closed the door and walked into the bathroom, plastering a smile on my face.
"You ready to get out, babe?"
She nodded, leaning against the edge of the tub. "I tired."
"I know baby. We'll get you out and into dry pjs."
She climbed out and stood on the bath mat. I took a hotel towel and wrapped her up in it tightly. I scooped her up and walked her to the couch and sat her down.
"Papa?"
"Yes, princess?"
"Who at da door?"
"El." I dried her off and wrung out her hair with the towel.
Ads' face lit up. "Is she gon see me?"
I nodded. "Yes. I'll call her in a bit to come say good night but then she's going to go to her own room, okay?"
Addie moved her head up and down. "Okay, papa."
I laughed, "Why do ya call me 'papa'?"
"Cos you're papa." She said smiling. "I wuv you."
"I love you too princess." I kissed her cheek. "Pink or green pjs?" I asked, looking into the bag of clothes.
"Pink!"
"Of course."
I dressed her and blow dried her hair a bit so she wouldn't be cold. As I put her down on the floor after putting the blow dryer away, she ran to the door. I hadn't even heard anyone knock.
"Mummy!"
"Hey, baby girl. Are you all ready for bed?"
"Yes. Wook! I wearin pink."
"Very cute. Where's Daddy?"
I stepped around the corner. "Right here. I hadn't called you yet."
"I know. I came to tell you that your boss called."
"Which one? Luke or Cade?"
"Luke."
"Oh. Why?"
She held out my phone. "You wouldn't have been able to call me anyway, Nic. You left it in my room on the bus."
I took it. "Sorry."
We looked at each other for a couple moments.
"Um, is she sleeping on the bed with you?" She asked.
I nodded and pointed to the room. I watched as she walked in and shut the door behind them.
I busied myself with cleaning up the bathroom and the counter space. I tried to be patient, but it should not take this long to lay down a four year old and kiss her good night.
I flipped on the radio; a new Rihanna single played quietly.
Eventually, Elise came out from the bedroom but not before closing the door again. I was on my feet instantly.
"Can we talk?" She asked quietly.
I nodded and gestured to the couch. She crossed the room and sat down. I stood for a few seconds before deciding to sit on the coffee table in front of her instead.
"Nic, I didn't kiss you on impulse. I kissed you because I've wanted to since the event."
"That was four days ago."
"I know."
"Why didn't we just talk this through then?"
"You told me to think later."
That moment flashed back into my head. Leaning down to kiss her temple and telling her to think later so I could get Addie back to the hotel.
"El," I sighed, "I didn't know that's what you were thinking."
"How can you deny that there's something between us?"
"Because there isn't anything there. You left me and our daughter four years ago. I can't forgive you for the things you did."
She leaned back but kept her eyes on me. "Do you know that Sam asked about that?"
"About what?"
"What I did to Addie. And to you."
"He did?" I tried to hide the fact that it was me who gave him an idea.
"Yeah. I had no idea he knew."
"El, I-"
"I know it was you." She sat up again. "I lied. He didn't need to go back for the merger. He left because he couldn't believe that I did that. He left me because he can't trust me. Do you want to know what I told him?"
I hesitantly nodded, almost afraid of what she was about to tell me.
"I told him I never stopped loving you and that I wanted to go back to Mullingar to try and work things out with Addie in hopes that you would take me back too."
"El-"
She stopped me, placing a hand on my knee. "I know I told you that night in the bar that I didn't love you before I left you four years ago. That was a lie. When I left, I was scared to love you. I'd told you that I would leave so that I couldn't make myself stay."
I couldn't even look her in the eye. "Elise, I-I can't believe I'm hearing this. You're telling me that you loved me when you said you didn't? That you loved me as you were with Sam? That you love me even though you're pregnant with his baby? That doesn't make sense to me and it hurts to hear it. A year ago, I was finally happy. Addie was doing well again and the merger was just beginning which means I was getting paid more to do what I love. I realized a long time ago that I was over you, El."
El leaned forward and rested her forehead against mine. "Is there anything I can say or do to make you understand how much I miss you?"
"Missing me and loving me are two completely different things, Elise."
Her lips brushed mine.
I couldn't give in again.
It wouldn't end well for either one of us.
Addie can't take any more of this.
She's counting on me.
I wouldn't let her down.