A girl like that (Lesbian)

Girl like that Part two

Zara had been my best friend since we were kids, our lives had taken a different paths over the past few years but when I had called her asking if she wanted to get away for the week she jumped at the chance. So we flew out to Greece with the hope of having a good time and me forgetting my troubles. We arrived at out apartment late afternoon so got changed and headed out for something to eat with the plan of going out that evening. It was clear sitting there that Zara and I had changed more than I had thought, as we sat eating Zara turned to me saying ‘Abby, I hope that you are going to forget about her while we are away? I have never seen you look so down’ I looked at her surprised that I had made it so obvious that I wasn’t happy ‘I just have a lot going on, that’s why I wanted to get away to try and forget’. Zara looked at me not seeming convinced ‘I don’t think that you will forget her if you keep texting all the time’ I looked down at the phone in my hand thinking that she was right. Sam hadn’t stopped texting me since we had left and I couldn’t help but reply, she told me that she missed me and it had felt strange not spending the weekend with me. Deep down I wanted her to miss me to want me back for her to realise what she was missing but that wasn’t going to happen if I was at the end of the phone? Zara was right, I turned off my phone ‘Lets have some fun!’ with that we ordered our first round of drinks and got our holiday off to the right start. We spent the next few days drinking, enjoying the night life and I left my phone switched off.  

On our third night Zara turned to me asking ‘Do you think that you have made the right choices in your life’ I knew what she was referring to ever since I had told her that I was gay a few years that back things had been different between us and I was sure that was what had caused us to drift apart. I knew that it must be hard for my best friend to not have been part of my decision making and that fact that when I was so confused I didn’t talk to her but she had been that one that I had chased after guys with, the one that I used to get ready for nights out with and now our tastes had changed so much I went for the simple look while Zara was the more in your face the better, her look was there to be noticed. ‘I think so, I’m happier than I was before I never felt like I fitted in before never felt comfortable in my own skin and now I feel happy and confident that I can just be me’ I looked over at Zara in her short skirt, high heels and made up face and knew that was no longer me. ‘I miss how we used to be, you were my best friend and you never told me you just changed. I wish it was like it used to be’ I was shocked at this admission ‘What you want me to play dress up and pretend that I don’t look at women instead of guys?’ ‘I want us to be close again, I miss getting ready with you and us going shopping and trying on things together’ ‘I’m not that person anymore, I never felt comfortable or happy before. Zara you are one of my best friends just accept me for who I am now not who I was’ Zara didn’t seem happy but nodded as if in acceptance of what I had said and we headed out for another night out, the evening wasn’t as comfortable as the ones past with Zara seemingly intent on heading home with anyone that would look at her and moved from guy to guy in search of the right one that would fit her high standards. I stayed back I knew that she was sad that things had to change and wanted be away from me and to be honest I didn’t really mind so I left her to get on with it and headed to the bar. I was sure that I could feel someone’s eyes on me and as I looked around I saw her smiling at me, as she moved in closer I wondered can I do this can I just not think about it. 

‘Can I buy you a drink?’ she was standing right next to me, looking expectantly at me ‘Sure I replied ‘I’m Clare’ She held out her hand to me, I took it ‘Abby’ she handed me a bottle of beer, Clare was the same height as me and had the bluest eyes I had ever seen and pale skin and blonde hair tied back off her face, she looked in shape like she worked out. ‘is it silly of me to ask who you are here with’ I wasn’t really sure how I wanted to play what seemed to be unfolding in front of me so I pointed across at Zara and Clare nodded, I felt happy that I could explain the situation later should I want to. We continued to drink together and when we were both a bit worse for wear headed out on to the dance floor, it felt strange to be holding someone else in my arms but I started to feel more comfortable in my movement the longer we held on to one another, when Clare’s lips touched mine I wasn’t at all surprised and I wanted to kiss her back and it felt nice but nothing more than that my legs didn’t go weak like with Sam and I found myself missing her which I really hadn’t done in the last few days. I pulled away from Clare I didn’t want to give her the wrong idea, ‘I cant do this, I’m sorry I came here to get over someone and this wouldn’t be fair on you’ Clare looked me in the eyes and kept her arms firmly in place and continued to dance with me.

At the end of the night Clare walked me back to the hotel I had no idea where Zara was and Clare explained that her hotel was only down the road, we exchanged numbers and agreed to meet up the following day with her saying that she understood were I was coming from but that she had really enjoyed my company.

I climbed into bed that night feeling even more confused Zara wasn’t back so I couldn’t even talk to her. The following morning I woke and Zara still wasn’t home, I turned on my phone and sent her a text to make sure she was ok. It was approaching lunch time and I wanted to get out before the day slipped by, it had been three days since I switched my phone off so I thought I would have a few messages to reply to that might help kill sometime. I had the normal random few texts of people asking how the holiday was going and what the weather was like and a large number of texts from Sam. They ranged from her worrying why I wasn’t answering her and if she had done something wrong, to just worrying that something had happened and the being angry that I hadn’t answered her to missing me. I found myself losing my temper a bit thinking what right did she have to want all my time to be worried about me and in my haste I text Clare asking if she still wanted to meet. What I wanted to do was turn my phone off but I was a little worried that Zara may need me at some point so I got ready and left the hotel and walked to a nearby restaurant to meet Clare for some lunch, I did slightly regret my hasty text but I did enjoy her company and didn’t want to spend the day on my own. Clare was already seated when I arrived and I noted that her face lit up when I arrived and she admitted that she was shocked to see me and that I had contacted her, we chatted and enjoyed a nice meal and the time flew by and before I knew it my phone was going off in my pocket, it was Zara asking where I was and that she was back at the hotel. Clare and I had already decided that we would met up again later in a local bar so I left and heading back to see Zara.

When I got back she seemed in high sprits explaining that she met a guy and had also planned to meet him that evening but wanted to check what I was doing. I told her my plans and she seemed happy for me but was clearly holding something back from me. ‘What’s wrong?’ She looked pained to answer me ‘Sam text me, she said she was worried as she hadn’t heard from you. I haven’t replied at the end of the day you’re my friend I only know her through you’ I told her that I wasn’t going to let her ruin my plans and I would reply. Before we left I sent a message to Sam ‘EVERYTHING IS FINE, JUST ENJOYING TIME AWAY NOT HAD MY PHONE ON’ I kept my phone on me as Zara and I were heading off in different directions and went to meet Clare, While I was walking when Sam text back ‘IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE’ my reply was simple ‘YES’ I didn’t want Sam to know that I didn’t feel that way for Clare but I also didn’t want her to think that I was waiting for her to change her mind. I felt like I was playing some silly game and I felt bad about Clare like I was using what seemed to be turning into a friendship but I couldn’t cope with the mixed messages that I was getting from Sam I wanted it to stop for her to make up her mind. I spent a very pleasant evening with Clare drinking and chatting and dancing at the end of the night, there was no kiss this time though.

On the last day of the holiday Zara and I were getting ready to leave and Clare came to lunch with us before we left. When Zara went to the bathroom Clare turned to me ‘I know that you are in a strange place right now and you are getting over someone but I like you and we get on really well. When you figure out that you want someone who wants to be with you call me’ and with that she got up and left. I was shocked by the brazenness of her statement but she was right I should be with someone who wanted me.

When I got home I was shattered it had been a great holiday but I needed the two more days off that I had to catch up on my sleep, as I approached my flat door I was shocked to see Sam sitting outside leaning against the door frame. She looked up at me, she looked like hell ‘what are you doing here?’ there was an edge to my tone I was getting a little fed up about things always being about her she had decided to be sitting on my door step without any warning not giving me a chance to make the decision to see her my self it seemed that all my choices were being taken out of me hands. She didn’t speak so I brushed past her through my front door, I waited for her to say something but there was nothing she just stepped towards me and kissed me with such force that I was nearly knocked off my feet at first I didn’t kiss her back but then my body began to react to her touch, all the feelings that had been missing from the kiss with Clare now flooded through me and my knees went weak. How could I question my feelings for Sam, I couldn’t walk away nothing would come close to how I felt when I was with her how her touch made me feel I was lost again.

I woke the following morning to find Sam in my arms and an overwhelming feeling of happiness engulfed me, we were back on track and things were going to work out

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