Reviews Corner-on Request

Review by thenameisfoureyes

Nooneknows1031
Just POEMs

What I like most about this book is the simplicity of how it was written. What you see, or in this case: read, is what you get. The overpowering feelings of love and heartbreak were also expressed well in your poems. The vocabulary was easy to understand and the emotions raw; it's like you just grabbed a pen and started scribbling what you were feeling.

I do have a few recommendations though to help you improve your writing.

-stanza forming. I suggest to keep a specific number of lines for each stanza in all of your poems. I would recommend the four lined structure. I observed that there are some poems in which you change the number of lines per stanza. I suggest keep your formations consistent all throughout.

-balance. Try to have your lines as equal in length as possible. This helps in the physical appeal of your poem. It helps with the melody if read aloud too.

-rhyming. I think you had exaggerated this bit by having literally same word endings. I suggest try to come up with different words (but rhyming) to improve the beauty of poetry. Do not settle with contented/discontented, it/it, you/you, etc.

-melody. You can use worda having the same vocal intonation patterns as endings if you cannot think of any rhymes. This, through the use of balancing, can make up with the lack of rhymes. Take this for example
Forgive me father for I have sinned,
My heart has beaten not for a man.
Forgive me mother, please, I beg,
Because I love a woman same as I am.

Sinned and beg have the same vocal intonation pattern (an ee and an eh sound), however, man and am are more fitted to end the lines due to having the exact pattern

-punctuactions, spelling, tenses. I suggest use comma at the end of the first line and period on the next. As for the spelling you can try to reread your poems first before publishing. Moreover, try to keep the tenses consistent. When you use "used to" the following action word should be in the normal form.

I also suggest for you to change your cover. Please contact one of the covermakers here to assist you.

Overall, I love your poems. Some are actually like songs. Some others hold a story. I would rate your poetic prowess with an 8/10.

I hope this review helps and that I didn't offend you in some way. Thank you for supporting our group and may you continue to write more beautiful poems in the future.

In behalf of the aratsgroup,

Yours truly,

thenameisfoureyes