Title
Sparks by taydog911
Cover
The book cover is nice and suits the topic and the story concept.
Rate:3.5/5
Story
This story features a sudden meeting of two people and how that meeting turns into something amazing.
Detail area
I would like to suggest the writer to add some more words and hide the main agenda.
Writing
The writer has used a different way to express the story however I would like to suggest the writer to do it in a way of dialogue.
The writer's grammar and english is perfect.
Correction area:
1. I would like to suggest the writer to use a third voice to tell the story,as the format of the story is in form of dialogues.
Reason:
At the beginning the story
"Parker walked over to the girl who was crying,he gave her a handkerchief"
After that writer can use dialogues
Like,
"What do you want?"she replied
2. The storyline looks interesting however the writer has not been able to fix them.
a) some dialogues are to direct
b) The story is being narrated really fast
c) At the beginning of each chapter,the writer has included things which makes no sense.
Example:
I started liking him or the blonde girl wasn't bad
Suggestion to the writer(Pov)
1) I have never come across a story narrated this way,I didn't like how you used bold and italics .I would suggest dialogues or a formation of sentence.
2) Take a time to finish the story and also I think all the chapters are incident of the same day so you can sum up in one chapter.
3) There was a part where the guy asked the girl why she was crying and she said straight away the reason,which I couldn't digest.
Lastly I think the reader needs to consult with a good writer for help.
Also it will be good if the writer starts from beginning.
Overall rating:2/5
YOU ARE READING
Reviews Corner-on Request
Random#16 (feb 5)-current rank #17 (jan 30,2016) #20 (jan29,2016) #23 (jan 28,2016) #26 (jan 26,2016) #46 (jan 26,2016) #386 (jan 25,2016) Cover by shrisag So this is review corner of books people requested for.
