Finding Seventeen (On Hold)

Coming Home

I stood looking out the window of my childhood home, waiting for Jodie and Ryder to pull up. He was finally coming home. It had been a long time since Ryder and I had been in this house together. I couldn't help but think back to that last day.

I packed my bags in the middle of the night. My mom was passed out on the couch sometime during the night. I knew she'd been passed out till noon. I thought it would be best to just leave, not tell anyone. I thought I was home clear, until I heard " Where are you going?"

I turned to look to see Ryder leaned back in the recliner.

"What are you doing here?"

He just let out a deep gruff sigh, "Mom, called from jail again."

"Why do you keep bailing her out?" I was angry, not at him per say, I was mostly angry with my mom. I was tired of all the crap she put us through.

"What would you like me to do? Leave her there?"

"I don't understand why it always has to be you. Why can't her boyfriend bail her out?"

"Who do you think was in there with her?" He put the leg down on the recliner."I left him there though."

"I don't understand why she can't just get her life together."

" I don't either, but she is still our mom." This is when he noticed my bags. "Where are you going?"

I felt guilty, I wasn't even going to tell him I was leaving. "I can't do this anymore."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He furrowed his brows and stood up.

"I'm leaving town."

"What do you mean your leaving town?"

"Just what it sounds like. I'm getting in my car and I'm driving until I find a place I like and want to live."

"Your going to leave me to deal with her alone."

"You know you don't have to keep doing this. You can get out too. You can just go back to college and not come back. You don't have to come back."

" Gem, I'm not like you. I just can't leave and not look back."

"You could go with me and we could start a new life together." I felt like I was begging him to go. In a way I was scared to leave on my own. If Ryder went the world wouldn't seem so scary.

"I can't I like where I am now. I don't like dealing with mom, but the jail visits are few and far between."

His words made me sad.

"I love you Ryder, but I have to go. I just can't do this anymore. You're stronger than I am."

He must have known that there was no talking me out of it because he picked up my bags and we walked out the door. Before I got into my car he hugged me goodbye.

"I love you Ryder.

"I love you too Gem, be safe."

Before I closed the door to the car I said, " I'll call you land in a safe place."

He nodded and closed my door. As I drove off, I looked out my rear-view mirror I saw him waving from the road. I started to cry. I cried until I reached the interstate.

I snapped out of my thoughts as I saw a car pulling into the driveway. I looked around at the house and the conversions we had made to accommodate the wheelchair. We made sure all of these changes were made so the transition home would be easier for Ryder.